The practice went well; for the first time, I used a violin (through keyboards) for one of the opening songs (Lord I Offer My Life).

As usual, Ria, Kash, Tonet and I went all Pretty Little Liars around everyone, including Rjo. After our practice, we packed the instruments and went to Tita Josie’s funeral (a churchmate who died because of heart attack).

While packing, someone brought up the subject about Rjo leaving for Japan. Erm. I wasn’t happy about it, not because I have a crush on him and I’ll miss him so bad, but because he won’t have a career there.
In Japan, he has to go back to highschool.

Here, he can continue to play for the college basketball team and go pro after he graduates or he can front a band (he’s fronting the Levites’ youth extension, New Breeds as of the moment).
In Japan, he’ll live with his mom.

Here, he has everything; car, great friends, great church, great band, great instruments and the great Tonet. Haha. I bet he can’t find anyone like Tonet in Japan.

Plus, it’s Japan. Dude, it’s JAPAN. It’s FREAAAAKKKKKIIINNNNN JAPAN! Don’t they realize how mean the Japanese people to Filipinos (and some Americans) during World War II? They made everyone walk including wounded and dying soldiers from somewhere in Pampanga to San Fernando. Well, I already forgave them, but I couldn’t really forget that.
“I’d like to go to Japan because of the snow.” He said.

Cold weather = white skin, so I assumed that he’d like to go to Japan because he wants a paler skin.

“Di ka naman puputi dun…” I blurted loud enough for the other musicians to hear. Everyone turned to look at me, horrified. Me and my big mouth. I didn’t really mean to say that. I could’ve said what I meant in a much nicer way.
Chris was the first one to recover and said, “Oyyyyyy!!!! That’s so mean of you!”

Then, everyone went, “Oh! That’s below the belt!” I think they’re all kidding, including Tonet who intentionally messed up her grammar and said, “that’s under the belt!” few times, but I was so guilty of what I did that I blushed and went “Oh my God, I’m so sorry” to Rjo, but he looked offended and he didn’t want to talk to me.

Okay fine.

I stayed silent for the next couple of minutes while we packed. I was too distracted to talk. We’re all going to the funeral so we gathered downstairs at the lobby. Kuya Rommel showed up, and Rjo told him what I said to him, and bawled like a baby.

Kuya Rommel just stared at me and I sheepishly told him that I was joking.
The bishop showed up and Rjo did the same thing. I couldn’t say anything anymore because I apologized for a hundred times already. Good thing the bishop was cool about it and told me that I was losing weight.

I felt so bad about what I did, so to console myself, I went to buy some Stick-O’s from the sari-sari store beside the church. It’s literally beside the church.

Okay, this is the most interesting part, but I’m not so sure where to begin. Like what I’ve said before, the church was built in a residential area, meaning we have neighbors. On the left side of the building stood a blue house with a store at the front, wherein we all buy snacks (like all sorts of junk food), prepaid credits,.school and office  supplies and some other stuff whenever we’re at church and we can’t go home.

I think there’s a family living there, including the guy who sells us stuff. I’ve noticed that guy before before, but didn’t really pay attention to him because a.) he’s too handsome b.) but he looks like a bum c.) we don’t know him that much and d.) we’re shy around him because he’s cute.

I first met him in front of the church when he’s walking with a really cute baby girl. Des and I walked up to them to play with the baby and we thought she was his daughter (you know, baby daddies are so in nowadays). We played with her for a little bit and went back upstairs.

Whenever I buy Stick-O’s or prepaid credit cards,  I see the guy and he talks to me about things that you can list under generic topics like the weather, or if we’re done practicing (well, obviously, we are, because if not, I wouldn’t be there, buying from their store).

One time, we accidentally run into him, topless. I’m not a pervert or something, but I could tell if a guy has great body. He has great triceps and biceps, just like Rjo.

He was never vain. It’s as if he didn’t know that he’s handsome.
I think I asked him if someone had invited him to attend to our church, and he answered that only Des did. I asked why he didn’t come, and he said he was busy. Kash told him that he can’t be busy, since we know that he’s always home, looking out for their store and taking care of the cute little girl. He tried to explain, but we didn’t hear him out because we have to leave already. I said “Good night” to someone from church, and he thought it was him, and said “good night, too”.

Personally, I didn’t try to get to know him because I always thought that he’s just a pretty face. No brains or whatsoever, because if he has brains, he won’t be stuck at their house, babysitting a niece but in college or in the corporate world. You could say that I was pretty judgemental.
“Are you done with the practice?” He asked, as he handed out the Stick-O’s.

“Yup,” I answered absent-mindedly. I was too preoccupied with that skin-comment-thing with Rjo. Kash showed up and we started talking about what I did, which made me feel more guilty.

We went to the funeral. Kuya Rommel brought the Yamaha keyboards, the one handed down to me, so that we can play. The musicians sat together at the very back.

I wasn’t expecting much happenings from the funeral, because, hello, it’s a FUNERAL, but it was pretty fun. It’s my first time to go to a funeral with my band.

I got another text from the unknown texter. Though I didn’t save his number, I still recognize it. “Who are you, please?” I asked.

“It’s Gerald Jay.”

“Oh, it’s you again. Okay, good night.”

15TH REMYX PERFORMANCE:

After devotion and writing in my journal, Kash called and we talked for a couple of minutes, then we did a conference call with Tonet, who was on her trip back from Batangas. Kash suggested that I apologize to Rjo because that’s the only way I’ll get my peace of mind back. It sounded like a good idea, so I decided to do it. If he’s still mad at me, then fine. At least I did my part.

I went to Auntie Baby’s house to see the flowers for one of the catering service for someone’s 18th birthday. The roses were so lovely! Too bad, I wasn’t able to get a picture of it.

There’s this bakery around my neighborhood that makes delicious cinnamon rolls and they sell if for a very cheap price. Every morning, after I arrive home from work, I always go there to buy cinnamon rolls for breakfast that I get to know the staff and the owner already.

I saw this pretty girl with a frame like Janine (and Tonet) with a nice smile. I think we could be great friends so I started talking to her.

I invited her to come to Remyx and she did! Well, I technically invited her grandparents and parents to come to church first, but they said were busy, so I asked their permission to let the girl go to our Remyx, and they did let her go. Yay.

Kash and I picked the girl up around five o’clock pm. I actually forgot to introduce myself to her (how rude), so she had to ask my name, and she told me hers. It’s Laarni, but she preferred to be called Laar. Her dad works at their bakery, and her mom works in Brent International School (wow) as a Math teacher.

I could tell was friendly because she and Kash clicked right away.
We arrived at the church, and we introduced the new girl around. Since we’re the earliest people out there, I let Laar stay in the lounge to have tea (juice, coffee or whatever she wanted) with Kath and Tin (Jacinto) while Kash and I go to the bathroom to change.

Color of the day: white and yellow. Originally, it was black and yellow, in honor of Rjo. Haha. No, not really. We just insisted yellow to tease Rjo, but since I single-handedly did it (and I didn’t mean to crush his ego) last Wednesday, we canceled our evil plan. 

So, we did change in the girls’ bathroom. I wore the short yellow dress that I bought for the purity ring ceremony, and put on some make-up and taddaahhh! I never looked more like a princess than ever until that time.
I don’t believe in the power of make-up before because if you’re naturally beautiful, make up will just be, well, make-up. I believe in the power of great skin, and I know I have it, but it doesn’t show in the pictures. All I see in is the epitome of haggardness in all of my pictures.

So, when I started putting on blusher and foundation on my face, I started to look great in the pictures too. I stopped using Adobe CS3 to edit my face, haha.

“Hey, you guys!” Laar exclaimed as she entered the bathroom. “You’re in the band? You play the keyboards!” She told me excitedly. I tried to act modest as possible and shrugged. “Yup.” I didn’t tell her because I’d like it to be surprise, like what I did to Cathy and Mikha before.

“And you sing!” Laar told Kash. I think Kash was used to people’s reaction when they find out that she’s a great singer.

We talked to people for a bit, and they went upstairs. We found our seats and waited for the Remyx to start. I couldn’t find the right oppurtunity to apologize to Rjo because we’re both busy with our invites. Plus, I was busy worrying about my instrument. You know, I already set up all the effects I’m gonna need for Remyx on the hand-down Yamaha, but then I couldn’t find its adaptor. I remember that Kuya Rommel brought the keyboard to and from the funeral using the bishop’s car, so I figured that the adaptor was still in his car. The problem was, the bishop and his wife were currently in Dagupan that time, and they won’t be back until Saturday. I had no choice but to use the Korg.

Charm’s up for the opening songs. She sang Lord I Offer My Life (with the violin, strings, synth and all) and Everyone.
 
I personally messed up with violin solo because I didn’t hear the guitar part mark properly (and I wasn’t comfortable using Korg). Rjo glared at me, and I realized that he could be scary if he wanted to.

The rest of the Peewee went well, especially No Compromise, wherein I improvised and made up my own piano riff.

We need to play one more song intro for Kuya Rommel, and it’s usually up to Rjo which song to play. He leaned down on me, and I thought he’s gonna kiss me on the cheek, but he whispered, “B, Eye of the Tiger for Itay Rommel’s intro.”

I was like, “What?”

“Play B scale for Eye of the Tiger,” he repeated. I smiled. He’s not mad at me anymore. Yay!

Since the bishop was in Dagupan, Kuya Rommel had to give the message. He’s like the Jonathon “J.D.” Douglass of our church. I sat beside Laar, and I was so happy to see that she paid attention to the message and even agreed to whatever Kuya Rommel said.

We get to play one last song before everyone went home. Rjo sang “No Compromise” and the crowd went wild. There’s something about Rjo’s energy that night. Well, he’s usually energetic (that’s why he was chosen to front the band), but he’s extra energetic. After four minutes, we all thought that he would end the song, because he put down his guitar very quick, like he’s in a hurry, but then grabbed the mic from its stand again and sang the bridge.

The crowd went crazy; their energy fed us on, so Tonet, Chris and I did some crazy riffs on our instruments too. Tonet was amazing. She’s like the Carlos Santana of our generation.

After Remyx, we all went downstairs to hang out with our friends. I saw Tonet’s mother with a pretty girl. I went up to them and she introduced me to the pretty girl. The “pretty girl” was Rjo’s mom. I felt like letting my jaw hang open, ’cause she’s gorgeous. I could’ve stayed and talked to her but I have to go to my friends. I think she’s the reason why Rjo was acting all-out hyper; he’s probably trying to impress his mom who’s in the crowd. I heard she just got back from Japan, after staying there for several years.
Everyone felt Laar welcome among us.

Somehow, I was so comfortable confiding with Laar. Well, technically she told me her secrets about her “love life”, so I’d take it that she’d like to hear some of mine. I told her that the orange SUV parked in front of us was owned by my crush. She’s like, “tell me, tell me, who’s your crush?” I told him it was Rjo, and she squealed. Haha.

Speaking of Rjo, I remembered to apologize to him when I saw came out from the church, squeezing to make his way out to his admirers (unfortunately, that includes me, Tonet and Ellah).

I somehow managed to pull him aside to talk to him.

“Hey, I have something to tell you….” I began. He looked at me with that little boy stare and leaned down a little bit to listen.

“About what I said to you the other day, I’m really sorry-” I wasn’t able to finish my apology speech because he cut me out.

“Oi! Hahaha! I was actually kidding!” He laughed. I started to laugh too. “I wasn’t mad at you… I just pretended that I was, and I’m so sorry, I will never do that again.” It was funny, he APOLOGIZED for what he did. I couldn’t believe what he said, but I was still happy that he wasn’t mad at me.

“Oh okay. I will never do that too.” I told him.

“No. it’s okay!” He insisted. I was so happy that I forgot that I have a crush on him and called out to Kash, “Kash, bati na kami! Yay!”

Kash went up to us, and said to Rjo, “Buti naman. She can’t sleep because of it!” It was slightly embarassing, but I didn’t mind. What’s important was he wasn’t mad at me.

“Okay! Bati na tayo!” I exclaimed and shook hands with Rjo. We held hands for a couple of minutes while at laughing with each other. The odd thing was, though I knew I have a crush on him, I didn’t feel, you know, “the connection thing.” Maybe, I should forget about him. He isn’t really THE ONE.
After Remyx, we went to the basketball court, hoping that we can book it onset to play volleyball. Unfortunately, there were guys playing already, so we had to go home. Chok showed up, and we walked home together. I told him about that Rjo thing, and he couldn’t believe it. Haha.

SATURDAY PRACTICE:

I didn’t see Kash until our cell group in the afternoon, which we had at Janine’s house. People were telling that I lost weight, so to reward myself (not that I made effort), I ate a lot of Jay-jay’s homemade donuts.
We went to church to practice after our cell group.

Seriously, I was really pissed off because I couldn’t practice. Kakay was using the Korg, so I had to use the Yamaha, but Kuya Rommel left its adaptor at the back of the bishop’s car, who was in Dagupan that time. I remember him telling me to be responsible with the Yamaha, and when I tried to, he said he got it, and then, he left the adaptor. I’d love to turn green and go the Hulk on him, but it wouldn’t help.

The songs weren’t that hard so I didn’t stay to copy the chords from the other musician. I pretty much can go on my own to be creative, so I went downstairs and had a chat with Des, Jenny (Mesias, the former Lesbie), Mae and Tin. I didn’t like Jenny that much before, but I’m glad I spent some time with them and I knew them better. I went back upstairs after a couple minutes, and I found the band practicing instrumentals, blues and country style. Kakay didn’t know what to do, so I helped her out. I think the girl wasn’t interested in country music because she left me to do the riffs, sat on the floor and did the egg roll. That reminded me that she’s only fourteen years old.

The practice ended, but we stayed there for some time and planned what to do for Kuya Rommel’s birthday, which will be on the thirteenth of November. Yay! I’m so excited.

As usual, before we go home, we bought stuff from the nearby store. We’d like to ogle on the cute guy but Kuya Rommel was around so we kept our faces steady and pretended that the guy’s hotness didn’t have an appeal to us. He’s strict about the Number Seven code of band conduct (no flirting or getting into romantic relationship with someone in or out of the band).
I ate out with Tonet, Janine and Chok. Seriously, people are thinking that Chok and I are together because we’re always together. I mean, we’re always together, but not TOGETHER. We’re like siblings. We went home together right after dinner.

SHOULD’VE BEEN DEAD ON SUNDAY MORNING BANGING MY HEAD NO TIME FOR MORNING AIN’T GOT NO TIME- a line from Creed’s song, “My Own Prison.”

I woke up later than usual. I hurried off to church. Good thing Pat Vasquez cancelled on me. Actually, it was her mom. I dropped by couple of times at their house to invite her to church, and when she finally said she’s coming, her mom texted me not to pick her up because they need to go somewhere. Whew.

So okay, I got there around nine-thirty in the morning, which is fine for regular attendees. Musicians’ call time is nine o’clock because we have to set up and everything.

“Chok, did you get my text?” I asked Chok. I texted him to set up my amps and piano because I’ll be late.

“What text?” He asked, then he took his phone from his pocket to check. Oh no.

I didn’t wait for him to finish reading the text and turned around to do it.
“I’ll do it, go get your adaptor,” he ordered, ’cause he knows the adaptor story. I think I told him about it last night when we’re walking home.
I went to the bishop’s (who just arrived) office to get permission to open his car. He said that he left the adaptor at his house when he found it at the back while packing for the Dagupan trip. Oh no. I think he saw how disappointed I was, so he gave me his car keys and told me to ask someone to get the adaptor for me from their house. Thank you Lord!
I asked the bishop’s son-in-law to get it for me, and he made it on Peewee time. I missed to play the opening songs.

After the service, we went to buy Stick-O’s from the Big Blue House Store. The guy was there, and he asked me what we do in the church. Kash and I explained that we go there to listen to the preaching and worship the Lord.
“You should come, Kuya.” Kash said. We didn’t hear his answer because Kash’s mom saw us and told us to get in their car because it’s gonna rain already.

I went home, had lunch with my family slept and woke up for my SOL classes.

SOL classes got delayed because of the child dedication. There were no available rooms for us to conduct our class so we had to wait. Well, the babies and their families were late because of heavy traffic. Kakay was to play the piano, but she thought the babies were not coming so she left with her brother to go to SM.

So, it’s my chance to play the piano in a different occasion. It’s since child dedication, I figured it would appropriate to play “You are My World” by Hillsong and “I Give You My Heart” originally by Hillsong but I did the Katinas version. I added “Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble”, the Sonicflood version when I got tired of the first two songs.

After the child dedication, we had to wait for a bit because our teachers had to prepare their stuff.

Kash came with her girls. She picked them up from their houses because she wanted to make sure that they won’t miss their post-encounter classes. Kash stayed for a bit to hang out with me (she has to go home to change for the evening service), and we went to the Blue House Store to buy Stick-O’s. The dimpled guy was there.

“Hello.” He said.

“Hi!” We replied.

“Are you coming tonight?” I asked him, to which he didn’t reply right away because he was thinking about it.

“You should come. You’ll find a lot of friends,” Kash insisted.

“I can introduce you to some of our friends,” I offered.

“What time is the service, he asked.

“It’s six o’clock in the evening.”

“Okay, I’ll attend. But I’ll just observe, alright? I won’t do anything that I’m not comfortable doing.”

“Sure!” We said in chorus. Yay. “Oh, wait, I’ll introduce you to Edbert.”
 
“Who’s Edbert?” He asked suspiciously. I told him that Edbert was a friend. 
I ran from the store to the entrance to get Edbert and I found him talking to Kuya Rommel. I’d like to introduce the guy we invited to Chok, but he’s upstairs, busy with the post-encounter party. I asked permission to take Edbert away from Kuya Rommel for one minute, and he let me.

“This is Edbert. He’ll be with you when you attend. He’s your new friend.” Edbert said something to him, but I didn’t hear it because Kash and I left to take some pictures.

Edbert left and we went back to the store to buy something.

“Hey, thanks! We’re glad you’ll come.” Kash told him. We’re about to leave when I remember to ask for his name.

“Oh wait a minute, what’s your name again?” I asked.

“Gerald.”

OMG.

I simply didn’t know how to react. He’s the guy who texted! Eeeeeppppp!

“Okay Gerald, see you later!” I turned around to leave. Someone that good-looking can’t be interested with someone like me. I looked at Kash and tried to send the message through eye contact, but she didn’t get it. Well, she looked at me, saying that she’s not getting what I was trying to tell her, so I shook my head. Then she went, “I have to go home and change for the evening service. Text me once your SOL is done,” and kissed me on the cheek.

I went back in to the church to attend to the SOL classes. I somehow couldn’t forget about Gerald. I texted Kash.

“Kash, I figured out who’s JAY.”

Kash didn’t text me back, but that’s fine. I’ll tell her when I see her during evening service.

I’d really like to know if Gerald was the same Gerald Jay who sent me texts.  Too bad I deleted the messages and his number. They could be useful. I thought of one way to find out, but that will take a lot of courage.
 
After SOL classes, I told Edbert to bring Gerald upstairs. I went to the bathroom to make sure that I look okay.

I met Edbert upstairs, and I asked him where his “new friend” was, and he said he couldn’t find him. Really. Probably he’s really the person who texted me, and he figured that I FIGURED out it’s him, so he got shy and hid.

“Do you know Gerald?” Kuya Rommel asked before we got on the stage to play.

“Nope…” I answered. “I mean, I’ve seen him around but we’re not friends until now.”

“Ahhh.”

Well, I could say that I’m disappointed because he accepted my invitation, but bailed out the last minute. Now I know how it feels (I used to accept invitations and bail out the last minute, too).

A minute, literally, before we play, he showed up, in a jeans and a white collared shirt. He looked like he just had a shower and smelled really really good. I couldn’t help but to smile. He walked in and started looking for a comfortable seat. Tony showed up somewhere and led him in the middle part of the seats.

Tony actually took credit of my invite. Well, he probably didn’t know that I invited Gerald.

But there were things that needed to be done, and I’m gonna need Edbert’s help. I searched for Edbert without getting down from the stage (I couldn’t go down because we’re playing the opening songs already), and I found him. Good thing he was staring at me already so I tried to tell him to sit with Gerald through eye contact, like what I usually do with Kash, but he didn’t get it. Pssh.

Peewee was great.

Instrumentals was funny, because for the first time in my life, Kakay was unsure what to do.

“Ate Reg, please go first,” she begged, which was very unusual. She normally wants to go first in piano parts and her amps are always (and SHOULD be) louder than mine. She grabbed my instrument’s volume and turned it up.

“No, you go.” I answered, turning down my volume.

“No, you go, Ate. I don’t know what to do.” She said.

“Okay, let’s do it together,” I told her. I did my thing on the piano, expecting her to play along with me on hers, but she didn’t, so I flailed my left arm to her attention, and I did. She did play, but used very minimal riffs. I guess it’s my time to show off what I got.

After instrumentals I went back to my seat. Kash pinched me and asked, “Who’s Jay?” with a knowing smile.

“I’ll tell you later,” I smiled back at her.

Altar call: first time attendees were called in front so that the bishop could pray for them. Tony took Gerald to the front. Approximately, he’s taller than Rjo. I’m not a pervert or anything, but I couldn’t help but to admire his biceps. Haha.

“I’m so sorry God.” I closed my eyes and tried to block the temptation. I started to wish that he’s the unknown texter. I’d like to know, but I won’t do anything bad, you know. I think it’s the best time to test the power of my purity ring. I looked at it. “Remember what you promised,” I told myself.
I made up my mind, and I’ll do what I have to do after church. I will ask him straight to the point if he’s the one who texted me.

Unfortunately, the musicians had to play while people were making their way out of the building,so he was long gone after before I could get down from the stage.

I found Kash and told her that that Gerald Jay who texted me was probably Gerald because I bought prepaid credits from their store, and I was sure he asked for my phone number, which I thought needed if you’re buying prepaid credits. Kash poked me on the ribs, and teased me, “Yiheeeee! You’re kilig!”

“No! I had to ask him first because I’m not sure yet. Come with me!”

“Okay, in a minute.”

A minute turned into an hour. I couldn’t wait any longer, so I told Kash to stay where she was (she’s taking pictures with our other friends) and I left to go to the Big Blue House Store.

Gerald wasn’t there, but I asked for him. The lady called him and he went out. Oh, he put back on his old shorts and sleeveless tee that he usually wears.

He smiled at me, and I noticed his perfect teeth. Wow. I got shy to smile back at him because he’ll see my braces. I was about to ask him but then, Tony showed up to invite him to play basketball with them. I think Tony noticed me and being a gentleman and all, he told me to go first and tell Gerald what I needed to tell him, but I declined and insisted that he go first, which he did.

I eavesdropped, I admit. He’ll play basketball. Oooh. I decided not to watch the basketball game earlier because  Rjo woudn’t be playing. He’s currently in Butuan City with his mom. But I changed my mind. I’ll go with my friends and we’ll see if Gerald will take off his shirt after the game. Kidding! Tony left.

“Hi, Kuya. I have a question for you,” I started.
 
“Okay.”

“And I want you to be honest with your answer.”

“As in now na, right here?” He asked, still smiling, but I could tell that he was nervous.

“Are you the Gerald Jay who texted?”

“Yes. It was me.”

“Ah, okay. I gotta go. Thanks!” I didn’t wait for what he’ll say because my vision got all blurry and everything; probably, I got so shy. I turned around and left in a hurry.

Alright. I already made up my mind. I’ll be staying in this friggin’ company until second week of December, after I get my bonus. Then, I’ll stay at home to rest for a month. While on break, I’ll hit the gym to lose some weight. After I remove my braces, I’ll apply in some airline companies and try my luck there.

I lost the motivation to grow in the BPO industry so I stopped caring whether I’d get fired or whatever. I just wanted to rest.
Speaking of rest, I had a five-day off from work. It started last Wednesday, after the band practice for Remyx. I didn’t really plan for it, but like what I’ve said, I lost the motivation already, so other than money, there’s no reason for me to go to work. Sigh.

Monday jogging, 6:30 am: Lloyd was a bit upset because we’re late. Actually, I wasn’t late; it was his sister.

I got to know Lloyd and Ria more. They’re both cool, but I’m more attached to Lloyd, ’cause we clicked right away by confiding his secrets with me (girl problems). Plus, he’s funny and was never scared to tell me what he thinks about whatever I say.

I wasn’t sure how it happened, but we found ourselves talking about guys and cheesy relationship topics. When Tonet out of earshot, Ria told me that she finds Rjo hot. She’s like, “He’s so hot! I like his body…” Upon hearing that from her, I was totally shocked. When you look at her, she seemed innocent and shy.

“How did you know that he has a great body,” I asked her. Well, I shouldn’t have to ask that because it shows (plus  I checked his Facebook account and saw a topless picture of him) but I just need verification. Haha.
“He took off his shirt after the basketball game, when we watched, one time,” she answered, without hesitation. Okay, so she actually checked him out. “Not knowing that he and Ate Tonet were an item, I told her what I thought of him,” she continued. We giggled. Normally, I’d be shattered and depressed if I know that the guy I have my eyes on has his eyes on someone else, but I wasn’t. I was totally happy for Tonet, and I’m saying this from the bottom of my heart. She’s a great girl. In my standard of beauty, I could give her 7 out of ten. I’d rather lose Rjo (not that I’m wishing or expecting that end up with him) to Tonet than to someone else. Kidding!
After jogging, my friends went to my house to have breakfast.

We watched Shutter Island, but didn’t finish it. We just talked until one o’clock in the afternoon. Lloyd fell asleep on the couch.
We talked about our dreams, as in literally. I think I’ve shared my dreams about Matt and Rjo.

The Matty Dream

I was walking somewhere very gray and windy. Sands were getting on my feet, so I thought that I was on a beach, walking on the shore.
I was wearing mg blue baby doll dress and hair was blown in my face.
The scene was very calm and serene. Suddenly, an arm wrapped me around my neck and panic rose on my chest. It wasn’t like the person who owns the arm tried to hurt me or something; it was more likely an affection hug from behind.

I turned to see who the person was, and when I turned around, I felt relieved to see who it was and I said, “Matt…. Matty…” Matt smiled. He looked like Shia La Beouf, but more stubbly and handsome. He said something to me and his accent was neither American nor Filipino. It’s not even British, but it’s something that I didn’t understand, but somewhat felt what he meant.
Matty put his arm around my shoulders and wrapped mine in his waist. We started walking, kicking the sand, the wind blowing the hair on my face.
It was a really nice and warm dream. But who the heck is Matt?

The Rjo Dream

Well, this is more realistic than The Matty Dream.

I just remembered sitting beside Rjo after playing Peewee, with my chin on my hands. I dozed off (in my dream), and my right hand fell on Rjo’s lap. He got mad and punched me in the face.

I was like, “Whoa! Dude, what did I do to you?”

Then, I remember him having an outburst, telling everyone that he hated me because I was always teasing him, calling him “Negro” and other stuff.
I woke up, very mad at him, and found out that it was dream. In real life, I will never tease him about his skin color because it’s the best skin color i that I’ve ever seen in a guy.

Ria, Kash and Tonet laughed at it. They thought it’s really funny. I think it’s creepy. I don’t want Rjo to hate me.

“You’re having dreams about him because you’re probably thinking a lot about him subconsciously,”suggested Kash. I gave her the evil glare, she didn’t seem to get it.

“Could you say it a bit louder? I don’t think that Ria and Tonet heard what you said.”

I know Tonet and Rjo were sharing something special between them, and I hate to ruin that. Not that Rjo will take a second look at me or something.
Tonet started singing “Black and yellow, black and yellow,” and told us the story behind it. She said she started teasing Rjo about it when he showed up at practice wearing a ridiculous yellow shirt that high-lighted his dark skin.

She admitted that he actually looked great on that yellow shirt; she just teased her because he was so insecure about his skin color.
If you ask me, Tonet’s the one who should be punched by Arjo in a dream, not me.

Remyx Band Practice:

I thought I could nail Through It All that easy, ’cause I’ve done song for a hundred of times already. I guess my problem was the tempo. Argh.
The devotion was great. I shared about John 1:40-42, wherein Andrew found Simon and brought him to Jesus. The moral of the story was before we invite other people to come to church, we should bring our families first, because it will be considered “hypocrisy” if we’re doing great tasks for the church, but poor at house chores.

Rjo shared something about keeping our grudges to ourselves. I think he gave out things not to do when you’re holding a grudge to someone, which I find really impressive for a seventeen year old boy.

1.) If you’re mad at someone, don’t tell people about it. People who listen to you will tend to get biased because they’re only hearing your side, and therefore, will sympathize with you.

2.) If you’re mad at someone, you better keep quiet, because if you don’t, you’ll just call the person names, or worse, insult the person, which you’ll regret later on.

3.) If someone tells you that he or she is mad at one person, and badmouthing that person in front you, don’t encourage the person by doing the same thing.

4.) Don’t be a bully; if you’re strong, defend the weak instead. If you’re not that strong, stand up for the weak.

5.) If you’re being bullied, just forgive, though you can’t forget.
He said some stuff about feeling bad towards those people who bullied him before, and how he forgave him, though it’s so obvious that he still had hatred towards them because of the way he was telling us about. I caught Kash’s eyes; she smiled at me. I swear I didn’t know what she meant with her smile.

Tonet started singing “Black and yellow, black and yellow,” again, so I nudged her and reminded her of the Rjo dream. She burst into small, supressed giggles. The others were curious and started asking her about what’s she’s laughing at, but she didn’t tell them. I knew that I could trust her that time.

Instead of stopping to tease Rjo, Janine even teased him. She called him, “Tall, dark and happy,” but Rjo didn’t look offended.

So, okay, I didn’t go to work. I hung out with Kash at our home after Ella’s birthday party. We agreed to go jogging the next day with Tonet and the Panerios.

Thursday jogging, 4 am: I sent a text to everyone to wake them up. Ria replied, “Go go go.” What the heck would that supposed to mean? I brainstormed for a couple of minutes to decode her secret message, but I really couldn’t. I got up, put on  my v-ball shorts and went to Kash’s. She just woke up too. I told her about Ria’s text, and she told me not to sweat it, ’cause Ria’s probably “dream-texting”. Hmm, fair enough.

We’re a bit earlier that the other day, and this time, we’ve got new people. Charm, from the New Breeds and Lloyd’s parents came with us.
We had a great time working out, and we got to know each other more. We’re on our way back home when Ria’s mom blurted out, “Do you guys know that Weinber is courting my daughter?” Hahahaha. Well, I kind of knew it, because I saw how sweet they were to each other when we had a movie marathon at our house (and I got into trouble because I allowed them to be alone with each other for a couple of minutes).

Kash played it cool. She said, “Ah, we knew it. We just don’t talk or think about it much, because…. so what?” I so love her. We stared at Ria for few minutes, and she looked like she’s melting from shame. Ah…. mothers. Tsk tsk tsk.

Lloyd, on the other hand, was very secretive to his mother, but nonetheless shared some of his secrets to me. He recorded one of his many long conversations with his “love” and let me listen to it while we’re cooling down. I wasn’t too excited to hear it, but for my new found friend’s sake, I pretended that I was. I was bit curious too, by the way. I was shocked to know who the girl was. It was Weinber’s youngest sister (name withheld upon nobody’s request, but I think I wrote about her before). At their young age, they’re making plans for college, and then marriage. These kids think that marriage life is THAT easy. But at least, they’re thinking of their future together. I totally commend Lloyd for being true to his intentions (whilst some guys just plan to fool around and sleep with many girls as possible when they grow up). Whenever I look at Lloyd, he’s was absent-mindedly staring through the thin air, smiling. I guess he’s feeling warm and fuzzy…. awww.

We had breakfast in the cheap “karinderia” along La Joya, Ria’s mother’s treat. We didn’t really care if it’s cheap or dirty; as long as we’re together, it’s totally fine with us.
Tonet asked me, “Do you like someone from church?”

“Yup.” I answered.

Her eyes widened. “Who?!” She demanded. “Tell me!”

Ria and Kash smiled and looked at me knowingly. It was time for a little guessing game.

“You guess,” I told her.

So, she started giving out names, including her Kuya Chris and Rjo, but I wasn’t ready to tell her yet, so I denied it. But Kash gave it away. Tonet mentioned Rjo’s name for the second time, and then Kash twitched.

“Aha!” She exclaimed. She laughed out loud at that. Kash guiltily apologized for giving me away.

“Don’t you know about us?” Tonet asked.

“Well, I do…”

“And?”

“And nothing…” She’s probably expecting me to tell her that I’ll be stealing the guy away from him and to watch out. Ew. No way. Well, I might consider that if the guy’s a lil bit older… no, I take it back. Karma acts fast. It’s a bad thing to do.

I explained to her why I like her “sweetheart”, and she’s totally fine with it. That’s one hell of a secure girl. I so love her!

Here’s the weird thing: though we both know we like the same guy, we grew closer than ever. Just like Betty and Veronica.

After breakfast, we went home to change from our sweaty sport gears and went to Ria’s house. Lloyd, Tonet and I took turns in playing chess (I only lost once to Lloyd, Tonet was pretty impressed with me and asked if I can teach her, which I agreed into if she teaches me the scales in guitar) while Ria and Kash took turns in playing my violin.

We watched Josh Groban’s Awake Live Tour Concert on DVD. Thanks to me, Lucia Micarelli had a new fan (Tonet). We all loved Josh. We all went home after lunch to prepare for Remyx.

I went to bed around two o’clock in the afternoon to recharge my energy. I’ll be needing it for this week’s Remyx.

Zzzzzzz.

Mother turned of the AC in my room. “Ma!” I protested. She told me that Kash was calling me non-stop because of Remyx. Shay! I almost missed Remyx. I changed into my gray baby doll dress, matched it with a pair of black tights and gray Skechers doll shoes. I didn’t have time take a shower, so my hair’s all messed up and everything. I just put on a headband to cover up the “bedroom hair”.

I wasn’t that late, because I saw Rjo setting up his amps. As usual, he just looked at me and didn’t say anything.

It was a very successful Remyx (if you don’t count the fact that Tonet’s solo was messed up because three of her guitar strings snapped and my keyboard lost its power at the middle of great piano riff). I could’ve been happier, if only I had invites. Sigh.

After Remyx, the four of us (Ria, Kash, Tonet and I) huddled behind Rjo’s car. We’re all looking at each other, smiling. Though we weren’t saying anything at all, I’m sure, we’re all thinking about the secrets we’ve shared for the last couple of days. It’s just like Pretty Little Liars. Haha.

Rjo showed up, and we went all giggly and everything. “Rjo!” He looked at us like he found us acting a little weird and not that normal, but didn’t really mind, ’cause he didn’t go away. I said goodbye to everyone because Kash and I were going to the hospital (I need to get a medcert because I’ve been absent for three days already), and Rjo asked, “Where are you going?” The way he asked was a major turn off. I felt like a mom to him.

“We’re going to the hospital, little boy,” I answered.

“Can I go?”

“Nope. You won’t like it there.”

“Okay fine, you’re always leaving me behind…” and he pretended to cry. If I’m a bit younger, I would’ve find the little boy act cute.

Not that I didn’t want him to come with us, but it’s just weird.

“I’m so sorry, you can’t really come. The place we’re going is not for kids,” I told him. Then, he went back to normal and said, “Okay. We have a basketball game later, please be there to watch and support.” Sure, baby! Kidding.

We promised to watch their game and he let us go. The hospital was not that far, so we walked from  church. The appointment wasn’t that exciting. No cute nurses were around. Haha.

After my appointment, we went to the Bea basketball to watch the game. They weren’t there, so we just went home. We found out later on that they changed venues. Pssh.

Kash and I just went home and hung out in our living room. Like usual, we talked about cheesy stuff. I find it really weird that I’m drawn to conversations about relationships, which I find really cheesy before. After the “girl talk”, we watched Mulan. We decided to go to bed halfway through the movie.

FRIDAY JOGGING:

It was the usual crowd, minus Charm.

After jogging, we played dodge ball with Ayne’s boys. You’d probably find it really corny and all, but I did enjoy it. It reminds me of Put Your Records On music video by Corinne Bailey Rae, wherein girls were out there in the sun (’cause it’s summer), riding bikes, picking flowers, and “double dutch on the concrete”, not caring what they look like. Ahhh, memories of childhood. Not that Ayne’s boys looked like kids. They’re all college boys, by the way.
Sun blazed and burned our skin, so we had to go home. I just changed my clothes and went to Ria’s to hang out with my friends. We had breakfast with Ria’s family.

Experiencing having a lot of free time was fun. I missed the times that I was broke, but home all day, relaxing.

That’s what we exactly did at Ria’s house. We just lazed around, eating the snacks their maid was serving us, doing GIRL TALK (Lloyd was included), playing piano and teasing each other.

Tonet joked that she sabotaged me during my great piano riff because she knew that I have a crush on her “sweetheart”. I told her that I used a blade in her guitar strings, but didn’t completely cut it so that they’ll snap during her great guitar solo. They all looked at me, and I could see that they were all hoping that I’d burst out laughing and saying that I was kidding, but I didn’t, though I really was joking.

The tension was so thick that you can cut it with a knife, so I finally announced that I was joking. Good thing, they still found the joke funny. From then on, Tonet and I started joking about how we shared everything together, like snacks, pillow, chair, couch and of course, Rjo.
“Lagi naman tayong share eh,” we tell each other everytime we share something.

We all went home around four o’clock pm. I cleaned up my room and tidied up the house a bit and wrote in my devotional journal. Kash called, and we talked over the phone about this mysterious person who’s texting me boring stuff but admitted that he has a crush on me (though I didn’t think it was possible since he doesn’t even know my name) until we both fell asleep.
Tell you about it: I got the text like a month ago. It was just a simple, “Hi, how are you text,” so I didn’t really pay attention to that. It could’ve been some ugly and desperate guys looking out for girlfriends through text because they can’t manage to find a girlfriend in real life. I deleted the text and didn’t even save the number.

Then I got the text again when I went to women’s encounter to see my mother (she’s one of the guides) at the church after work. I stayed for a bit after seeing her to teach Kakay some French, Spanish and Italian phrases and grammar rules. I asked the mysterious texter who he was, but he refused to tell me. Probably, that person knows a lot about me because he’s scared that I’d make fun of him. Since I was haggardly fresh from work, I went home to sleep and forgot all about it.

When I woke up, there’s another text again. I thought I’d scare the person off, if I show my true colors through text, so I tried to be polite. I politely asked, “Who’s this please?” That’s when he told me that’s his name’s Jay and he has a crush on me. Still playing all nice and polite, I asked him if he’s from work (I know someone named Jay from work), and he replied, “Not really.”

“Are you a neighbor?” I still asked, though it won’t be likely for him to be OUR neighbor. I know all the neighbors, and they’re out of my league (Mark used to be in my league, but we’re best friends now). It could be Jaron, Mika’s brother, but I’m way too old to be his type.

“Nope. Andito lang ako sa tabi tabi.” That scared me. He probably sees me a lot.

“Yikes, you’re scaring me.” I replied.
“I’m not a creepy stalker, don’t get me wrong.” He explained.

“So why did you text?”

“Nothing. Just thought I’d like to tell you that I have a crush on you.”

“Oh, thank you. That’s very nice of you. Where did you get my number?”

“I have my ways…”

I so hate this! Half of me wanted to know who the mysterious texter is, but the other half doesn’t.

PROS:

1.) He could be THE ONE.

2.) He could be Chris (I’m starting to develop a crush on him too)

3.) For a change, there’s someone out there who liked me for me.

CONS:

1.) He could be a desperate loser who wanted a girlfriend so bad and he thought he could try it on me. Ew.

2.) He could be Chris (I’ve seen the guy in his worst)

3.) He could be Janine or someone else who wanted to test me if I’m easy-to-get.

I disregarded all the pros and the cons. I simply became curious who he was.

“Are you shy? I will not make fun of you, I promise.” I told him.

“We’ll see…” He replied.

I didn’t know what to say to him anymore. I already tried diplomacy and kindness, but it didn’t work. I’d like to use blackmail, but I was scared that if I do, the texter would turn out to be Mi Jan or Des.

I think I told Jem and Kakay about it. Well, I wasn’t planning to, but they were there, reading the text with me (they think my phone is a public property), I let them know about it. It wasn’t a big deal, anyway Plus they’re like the expert on the subject matter of flirting through text, so I figured they could help me figure him out. We all thought it’s Janine youngest bro, Jay jay.

Jay’s a nice guy and all, but he’s still a kid. It can’t be him.

I didn’t want to stress myself out because of that annoying anonymous texter, so I replied, “Ah, okay.” Which became his last reply, too. I tried to forget about what happened because I need to concentrate for the band practice.

After band practice, I got another text from him, thanking me for replying to all his messages and spending some time with him. Ew. It wasn’t like I spent an hour texting him. We just exchanged few texts, approximately up to ten texts, and I got bored. I thought it will all stop there, but it didn’t.

Then he texted the next day, around ten o’clock in the evening, while I was with my friends, watching a basketball game. That’s the first time I told Kash about it, and Jayne overheard, and asked what we’re talking about, so I told her too. I think I showed them the text.

“Hi! How’s your day?”

To which I didn’t reply.

Kash reacted the way she supposed to. You know, all giggly and squealy. She’s curious to know who the texter was too, but the possibilities are too many.

Come Saturday, people started to notice that I was losing weight. I wasn’t on a diet yet, so it’s either the dark skin that I get from staying out in the sun that gave the slimming illusion or jogging slash dodge ball worked out for me. Everywhere I go, people were like, “Wow, you lost weight!”

I went to the Encounter Saturday evening. The bishop saw me and said, “payat ka na kapatid…” Awesome!

Anyways, I promised not to complain again, I couldn’t really help it. My job sucks, and I hate it, period. Before, I’m too coward to leave this kind of job for the fear of not getting a new job that pays as well in some place else, but I found something. I’d like to be a flight attendant, alright. It wasn’t my dream or anything, but hey, I know some people who get 40 grand every flight.
Since I don’t like the job, I am not sure if I’ll be happy with it, but hey, at least, I’ll get paid  with forty grand a week; I can save up and retire after 5 years. It looks like a good plan to me.

Bad news. I am not sure if I already wrote about my extended family members here.

Here’s the story:

My forty something year-old uncle married a pretty twenty-three year old girl from the province. I don’t know how the heck he did that. He wasn’t even CLOSE to being rich. The girl got pregnant, so they ended up together. I think they’re happy. A healthy baby boy was born, and he’s named Rico. He is so cute! And because he’s cute, I agreed to be one of his godmothers. But this story isn’t about our baby boy Rico.

Rico’s mother has a younger sister. Let’s call her Carol. When I first saw her, I was amazed with her long, beautiful curly hair that added the effect of innocence in her shy personality.

Carol and her younger brothers went to live with my uncle and my new auntie (who’s a year older than). They’re students when they first moved, but they stopped going to school for some unknown reasons (but my brother said they just simply don’t like going to school, they told him), and worked for my other aunts instead.

Carol probably met different types of guys while working in our catering. I’d like to treat her like a sister, because she’s very nice. I made some attempts to bond with her, but she’s shy. I actually invited her to church, and she came, but only twice. I guess the church wasn’t that appealing to her.

Soon, I started hearing rumors from our relatives that she’s a flirt. I don’t to believe it because she’s shy and she looked so innocent.
But then, she got pregnant. She never told anyone, but it’s starting to show. Our relatives started asking her if she’s pregnant, but she denies it, over and over. I don’t want to believe it, because she’s not that kind of girl, but my mom told me, it was true. Carol told her that she’s pregnant (my mom is so amazing; you can’t keep a secret from her). Mother told me that she directly asked Carol if she’s preggersh, but of course, she denied. Mom just looked at her and said, “I know you are,” and then the girl confessed everything. The father was their unemployed neighbor, who doesn’t want the responsibility. Oh… poor girl.

What does this thing has to do with me? Oh, nothing, my mom just wanted to adopt the unwanted child.

I was like, “Mother, are you out of your mind?” but she explained to me that she feels responsible, because she’s the only person that the poor girl trusted her secret, (of getting pregnant and considering abortion to get rid of the problem). Mother felt that she has to do everything for her to avoid abortion. It’s not fair, if you ask me. Mother should be over taking care of children.

But then she said, “Well, I’ll take care of the baby, but you should be the mother….” She’s crazy. Then, I realized that she’s probably wanting a grandchild already, and she knows that I’m not up for marriage yet. I thought about it for a couple of minutes. It’s not so bad at all. I mean, I’ll have a baby without any complications of getting into a relationship. Raising the baby without a father is fine with me…. we all turned out just fine (not that my parents were divorced).

“I’ll think about it, Mother,” I told my mom. She wasn’t serious or anything, but she wasn’t joking either.

Gosh, a baby…

Just like what I planned, the par-tay pushed through Sunday, eight o’clock in the evening, after church.
 
It’s so hard to keep the party a secret, to be honest. I thought it would be easy, since I have only have few friends (that I know of), but a lot of people showed up on my party, including the uninvited ones. Haha.

I invited five people from my work, two close friends from the neighborhood, the two bands (the Levites and the New Breeds) that I’m in, my friends from church and some acquaintances like Michelle (Chok’s sister) and Jenny M.
And of course, there were several gate-crashers, too, like Nicole and April. I wasn’t really sure who invited them, but I’m guessing, it was Kristine, because I overheard her asking Nicole if she was invited to my party (then convincing her to come when she said she wasn’t invited).

I added several more church people out of courtesy because my big-mouthed girl Jem blabbed to everyone that we’re having a party. Otep was like, “Why am I not invited?” I think I didn’t reply to that, but I was itching to say, “Why would you be?”

I’m not saying that I’m kinda important or anything, but for a week, my party was the talk of the town. Seriously speaking, some people really  did try to friends with me when they found out that I’d be having party, hoping that they’d get invited. Well, that’s really funny; ’cause I used to be invisible, and nobody cares if I throw a party or whatever. I don’t really want to think that way, but that’s really how I felt. Psh.

So, okay, it was established that I was having a party, and I announced it to my cell group network. Unfortunately, I didn’t see that Jenny Mesias was there among us, and I already invited everyone to come when I saw her. Argh.

Kash asked, “Are you gonna invite Rjo?”

“I’m not sure yet. We’re not that close, you know…” I answered.

Kash is like my best friend from the band, and we’re in the same cell group together. We bonded after we took our purity vows. From then on, we always spend weekend nights watching movies and eating junk food (but sometimes, we dig into healthy stuff, but most of the time, it’s junk). If we’re not watching a movie, we’re talking about our lives, our future plans, and some cheesy stuff about relationships. She really does get me, you know. My influence in her choice of songs is great too, ’cause she asks me for advice, everytime she leads the worship. The trust is mutual.

And since Kash is my best friend, she knows what I feel towards Rjo. It’s not like I’m wishing that I’d end up marrying him, noh.. it’s just strong infatuation, because most of the traits I’m looking in a guy are in him. Enough segue.

“What?! Why?” Kash asked. “You should totally invite him… you guys are close!” I explained to her that I probably want him in my party because I have a slight crush on him, and we are not really that close.

“Yes you are!” She exclaimed. “I’ve seen you guys talk, and you’re close… that’s what I can pretty much tell.”

I promised to think about it. What if he misinterprets the invitation? Argh.
Pros:

1.) If I invite him, he’ll think we’re really good friends, and it could bring us closer.

2.) I (and Kash) could get to know him more.

3.) He can give my other friends a ride home after the party.

Cons:

1.) If I invite him, I have to invite our mutual friends, too, because if I don’t they’d think he’s special to me.

2.) If I invite him, I’m sure, I’ll be shy around him, and I’ll act awkward during my own party.

Come Wednesday before the party, I decided to invite him and all of our mutual friends so that nobody would ever question the invitation (they’d be all simply invited). I posted my invitation on the Levites and New Breeds Facebook page. Only JC and Kash confirmed.

I went to church an hour before the band practice to set up my instruments and my amps. I got there, and saw him setting up too. He was wearing a red jogging pants and a plain white T-shirt. He looked so cute. I knew he saw me (we locked eyes for few seconds), but he didn’t say anything. Not even hello. I’ll take it as “lack of interest…”

We’re quietly setting up our instruments when he asked, “Okay lang ba yung pants ko, Ate Reg?” I’d like to laugh out loud on that. I was like, “Dude, they’re red. You look like Andres Bonifacio.” He ignored my comment, and said, “I think I look like a genie…”

“Nope, you’re Andres Bonifacio,” I insisted. Honestly, pants looked really silly, but with a physique he has, it looks great. By the way, that’s the third time he said something that showed his inner vanity.

“Are you coming to my party?” I asked casually.

He looked at me with puppy-dog eyes and asked, “Am I invited?”

“Of course, bebs,” I answered. I don’t know what happened, but when he looked  at me that way, I felt so much affection towards him, I wanted to hug him, but not in the XOXO way. I wanted to hug him because he looked like a puppy. Or a baby.

“Okay, I’ll go,” he said with a smile on his face. I changed my mind about having a crush on him. He’s too young. I think I have crush on him because I actually feel sorry for him. You know, I saw him almost in tears when he told us about how he longs for his dad (won’t write much about it, since it’s another person’s secret)…

We had our practice, led by Janine. Before I left for work, I invited the New Breeds to my party. I could tell that they’re all excited, including Rjo.
I’ve been busy preparing for the party and for the Remyx for the rest of the week.

Come weekend, I was the epitome of HAGGARD. If you wanted to define that word, all you have to do is to take a quick look at me. I went to my dentist (not that I have brace adjustment schedules) with my friend from work Joy. She has braces too, and she wanted to go to a different dentist, and I referred her to mine. After going to the dentist, we went to “ukay-ukay”. It’s some kind of thrift shop, wherein you get secondhand branded clothes in very cheap prices. I found this sleek black dress and bought it for 125 pesos. It looks gorgeous and expensive on me.
I got home around five o’clock in the afternoon, just in time for my own cell group. I went to church and met my girls in the lounge, and had our cell group meeting. I was so tired that I had to do the cell group for thirty minutes, which usually lasts one hour and thirty minutes. After cell group, I went upstairs to set up my instrument and amps. As usual, the amps I normally use wasn’t there. I was sure Rjo took it home, so I didn’t bother to look for it.

I haven’t hosted a party for some time, so I could say that I was pretty much excited. I wasn’t excited about the food or the presents; I was excited about the people who’ll come to my party.

THE GREATEST PAR-TAY OF THE DECADE:

I was up very early in the morning and had breakfast with my mom and brother Carl (he went home from camp for a couple of days to attend my party).

I decided to wear the black dress I got from the thrift store and put some make up on. I don’t really like putting on some make up before because I believe that if you’re beautiful, you’ll be always beautiful with or without make up. But then, I discovered the power of make up back in the G12 conference last September (I’ll tell you about it later), so I started using some cosmetic products, except for lipstick. I like my real lip color.

I was ready to leave when Chok pulled up his car in front our gate and honked to let me know that he was there. I didn’t know he’ll be picking me up; he doesn’t normally pick me up. Well, probably, he’s extra nice to me because I’m having a party. Or since he knows that he’ll drive me home after church (which he always does), he might as well pick me up.
I got out of our house to meet him. I thought there were people in his blue SUV, but it turned out that we’re alone. Normally, I’d be uncomfortable with that arrangement, but I wasn’t.

For the rest of the ride, we’re pretty normal. He talked about his frustrations about finding people whom he can invite to church, about music, and also, about guy stuff.

I told him that I invited his ex-best friend Niko, to my party. I don’t think he was very happy about it, but he didn’t look sad about it either. I told him to play it nice with Niko, because whatever happens, he’s still our friend.
We pulled over to park in front of the church, and got greeted by people. Thank goodness nobody made a big deal about us arriving together (though we’re in church, there are still nosy people who make up nasty gossips).
Everything went fine at church. Finally, Cris (Maxwell) showed up after a year. I heard her pregnancy was…. I don’t know how to put it…. dangerous? Haha. But yes, she has to stay in bed at all times while carrying the baby in her womb, and it’s the first I saw her again, after she got pregnant. Her baby was so cute! She actually let me hold the baby for couple of minutes. I’d like to hold the baby a little longer, but then I had to go and play the piano for the worship proper.

My mother and her friends brought a new girl. Her name’s Eriza, and she’s twenty-eight years old. They’re confused whether she should be put in to their cell group (which consists of mothers) or our cell group (which consists of young pros and teeny-boppers), but in the end, they considered her marital status, so they introduced her to me and Janine.

I put on my nice-little-girl act (which I’m getting used to nowadays), and a had a small talk with her. It’s a great thing that she wasn’t shy at all. In fact, she even asked me questions that I should be asking her, and she didn’t try to hide the fact that she was truly amazed with my height.
 
I saw Van (Maxwell) on her way out of the church, and I figured that since we’re old friends, I should invite her to my party. I think she said yes, but then I forgot to give her the directions on how to get to my house.

I invited Chok’s sister Michelle, too. I reminded some of my friends about the party later that day in my house, including Rjo. I think he said, he won’t be able to come because he has a basketball game with his friends. I frowned a little, and then he called Chok and told him to tell me that they both won’t be able to make it because of the game, and that’s when I got them; they’re just joking. I refused to believe them, but said, “Okay,” then turned around from them to look for my other friends. When I saw them again, my mother’s arm was on Arjo’s arm, reminding him about the party, and he said he’ll come, but he’ll be late because he needed to have a hair cut. I knew it, he’s just joking.

“Ate Reg, I need to have a hair cut. I’ll shave it off,” He informed me. Again, I didn’t fall for that. I had enough jokes from him that day.

I went home, and had lunch with my family. My mom told me that  I went to bed to sleep off the terrible head ache I get whenever I know that I’ll be attending SOl classes later in the afternoon (haha).

I woke up, and went to SOL classes. Everything went fine up to the Peewee part. My mood went sour when Cathy texted me that she won’t be able to make it. Whew.

During preaching, I got a text from my colleague, Yumi, saying that they’re at my house already. Uh-oh.

After church, I went ahead and put away my piano and amps and left the building immediately. I forgot that I don’t money to pay for my fare (Chok was supposed to drive us home, but he has to stay and wait for the others), so I paid it at home.

Mikha (the new girl I invited from the house across ours) was already there, eating and chatting with my colleagues Yumi, Joy S (the setter) and Ate Joy M. I think they’re a bit surprised to see me wearing make up and all, and I explained to them that I did that because I have to look my best for church. I think it was Yumi who said that she wishes to see me THAT pretty everyday at work. No way.

We chatted for a couple of minutes while eating before my other guests showed up. Janine was the first one to arrive, followed by Kristine and the others. One by one, they filled up our house. Rjo and his friends came too! Introduced them to my colleagues….. “methinks” he got shy. Aw, poor little boy.

My colleagues were huddled in our living room, so I went up to them while everyone was busy eating. From where I was seating, I could see Rjo and Weinber eating in our dining area. The girls were like, “Who’s the guy you told us about? Was it Chris or that guy eating over there?” I told him that it was the guy in the dining area. For a better view, I offered Rjo and Wein to move to the other wooden dining table in our living room, but they declined. I wasn’t sure if it’s because they’re shy or they’re simply indulged in the cordon bleu that they didn’t want people disturbing them.

The Distrito couple (from work) came too! I thought they weren’t able to make it because they’re coming from another church service too.
Kash came last. I think she called the landline first, and Mom answered. I heard Mom went like, “Hurry, the food’s almost gone!” Then, the next minute, she’s at our doorstep, breathing heavily.

“Happy birthday, sis!” She greeted. We hugged, I let her in, and ushered her wherein the food was. “Dig in,” I left her to get her food while I mingle with the guests.

Around ten thirty in the evening, my friends were all acting drunk already. They, especially the musicians, went outside on the street, in front of the house, dancing and singing. The others simply went with the flow and got silly. The surprising thing was, we didn’t even prepare alcoholic drinks. My mom just chilled the iced tea that she mixed with four seasons and served it to us.

I stayed in the living room, peacefully ate deserts.

Everyone came inside, and huddled around me, and I thought they’ll sing the happy birthday song. They had me do the “peel peel banana dance”. Embarassing!

I ran into my room, but they forced it open, so I had to do it. For the second week in a row, I had to embarass myself in front of Rjo.

Then, after I did the banana dance, they all sang “Happy Birthday.” I like attention, but not in that way, but I got along with it, just fine.

Around eleven-thirty, people started leaving. They had to leave that early because they had a game. I’d like to come (I was invited to watch, too), but I had other guests to attend.

All in all, the party was a success. My mom was happy about how the things turned out (everyone like the food, courtesy of our own family catering service, and they all ate it), including how I forgot to take out the desert (creamy fruit salad) from the fridge.

Everyone left, except my colleagues. Joy and I started eating my chocolate birthday cake. To be honest, the cake wasn’t that attractive; in fact, if I’m buying myself a cake, it wouldn’t even catch my attention. I was kind of disappointed because it’s all brown and designed with silly confetti (I like flowers, noh), but it’s from Mom, so I had to be thankful she even remembered to get me one. The message on the cake said, “Happy Birthday, Regine, from Mom.” That’s so sweet…

We drove my friends home (With Aldrin and Carl). We got back home half past midnight. I told Carl to drop me at the basketball court in front of Bea Grocery, and of course, I had to explain myself to my brother why. I told him that I’d like to see Rjo play.

Carl was like, “You have a crush on that guy?”

“Yeah… do you have a problem with that?” I asked.

“Well, I don’t like him. He doesn’t have manners.” He answered. He told me that he saw Rjo in the kitchen, eating with Weinber. He stared at Rjo, waiting for him to greet him or to offer the food to him, but Rjo didn’t. In our culture, when you see any of the family members of the host, you greet them, by the way. Not exactly greet them but to say something to them to make them feel you acknowledge their  presence. Ugh.

“Duh, why would he talk to you? He doesn’t even know you’re my brother…” I told Carl. It’s my fault, too, ’cause I didn’t introduce them to each other. My brother shrugged, and said, “Whatever.”

Suprisingly, Aldrin was interested in knowing about him. I told him all I know about the guy, and he’s like, “He’s really a tough competition, if ever… I so hate him.” Oh. I am not new to this thing… you know, male insecurities.

Probably, my brother doesn’t like him because he’s insecure. But, whatever.
We went home, cleaned up the house and went to bed.

For the next few days, the party was the talk of the town. Mothers went like, “My children said that the food was great,” to my mom and the other kids went up to me and said, “You forgot to invite me.”

Chok and Michelle’s mom said, “I thought Michelle gate-crashed, because I didn’t know you guys are friends.” Well, we’re not. Not even close. But Chok’s a friend, so it’s okay for her to come.

 

Ew! I’m so old……

Well, this day didn’t go as I planned and imagined. I planned to have a huge birthday party, ’cause I have friends to invite now (unlike before), but the date was all wrong. It was a Sunday before payday, meaning that I’d be broke (I have this bad habit of spending like there’s no tomorrow and I need to work on it), and the friends who were supposed to be invited will all be busy, ’cause it’s church day. 

And it turned out to be the busiest birthday I ever had, but the stuff I did had really nothing to do with my birthday.

Few hours before my birthday, I was busy worrying about my amps slash speakers. You know, it’s gone missing. We all found out that the owner, who happened to the guy I have a slight crush on, took it home. I can’t buy amps that time because a.) I was broke b.) we’re in the band practice, and we’ll finish by 8 pm, and stores would be closed at that time (if I have the money) and c.) it’s raining very hard.

After band practice, Chok asked me if we’re going out for dinner (he knows it’s my birthday), but I told him that we’re not because I was broke. I thought he’d insist to pay, but he did not. Whew. Instead, he borrowed my violin from me and played a scratchy “Happy Birthday” on it.

We all went home, and I went to watch Gossip Girl. I thought I’d feel better after watching the show, but I did not. It made me feel awful, ’cause I realized that there’s a lot of things that I like to buy for myself (like a new pair of shoes or a YSL bag), but I couldn’t since I was broke. To make me feel more awful, Cathy texted me that she couldn’t make it at church tomorrow. Sigh.

For some reasons, I couldn’t sleep. After midnight, an hour later when my birthday started, I checked my phone. Two greetings. One from Krissie, and one from Sorella. Aw, that’s so sweet.

I ate breakfast around five o’clock in the morning. I wasn’t excited or whatever; I simply couldn’t can’t just go back to sleep. Lying for a long time gave me a terrible head ache. I saw Ed coming in through the gate. I asked him where he’d been and where he’s headed, and he just yelled at me that he’s out with some friends, and it’s not my business. Wow. How about a “Happy Birthday, sis?” This is just so like last year. I love my brother so much, but sometimes, I’m so pissed that I’d like to disown him as one of my family members. 

I put on my gray baby doll dress, with black stockings beneath. I’d like to wear it without stockings, but the band has strict dress code policy. We can’t play wearing revealing shirts and short dresses.

I went to church, feeling blank. Jem saw me and yelled, “Happy birthday, Ate Reg!” Of course, everyone heard, and wished me a happy birthday out of courtesy. I went upstairs to set up my keyboards. I played a little bit (I find it weird that playing my thing cheers me up). That felt better. I went down from the stage to mingle with people.

Everyone wished me a happy birthday and asked me if I’m gonna have a party later. All these years, having a birthday par-tay doesn’t sound very appealing to me. I mean, if you have a party on your birthday, you’ll stress out yourself with all the preparations and invitations. Of course you have to think of what you’re gonna wear, too. And then, there’s the cleaning-up-after-party part. That’s why I don’t like having my own birthday party. I just do a birthday dinner, with four to six friends. But this year, it’s really different. I have a lot of friends! I’d like them all to be at my party, and I guess it’s too late. That’s sad.

Peewee proper: Onstage, after Des welcomed the guests and the attendees, she announced that it was my birthday. She said, “Let’s greet Regine, one of our pianists, a happy birthday! She’s looking more and more beautiful everyday!” For the first time in my life, I felt special.

After church, I went home to eat lunch. While we’re eating lunch, Mom said that it’s not too late to have a party, and she suggested that if we can’t do it today, we’ll do it next week. I told her that I’ll tell my friends about it.
I went to my usual afternoon sleep, intentionally missing my SOL classes. Aw, gimme a break, it’s my birthday.

When I woke up, I got dressed right away and went to church to attend the pre-encounter party. When I got there, I found everybody chanting “Banana, peel peel banana.. cut banana, cut banana, cut cut banana..” in Kuya Rommel’s drum beats. They looked like they’re having a great time. I went to find my friends, and when I finally did, all of them greeted me with a “Happy Birthday”, then chanted, “Birthday girl! Birthday girl!” I was called onstage to do the Banana dance, I declined and tried to run, but my friends blocked my way and dragged me to the stage. Gosh, it was so embarassing. There were like, more or less three hundred people watching me, including the guy I have a slight crush on….. But that’s okay, it all ended after a minute.

After church, I went home and went to bed.

Bad luck#1: At my job, I always get the lowest possible score in the team. They all blamed it on my conversational skills (or lack of), so they enrolled me to Soft Skills Training. It’s like the “Biology 101″ in universities if you’re taking up nursing or pre-med. My trainer would be Vikram, the large Indian guy with the worst possible accent (I had a hard time in training because I couldn’t understand him).

Bad luck#2: I just overheard my team manager talking behind my back on the day before my birthday. It was so nasty. I just let it go, because I don’t want to ruin my mood, but it still did. Sigh.

Bad luck#3: During the band practice (the day before my birthday), the amps that I use for piano slash keyboards was missing. It turned out that Rjo took it home. I’d like to complain, but I found out that he has the every right to take it home because he owns it.

Bad luck#4: The day before my birthday, it’s raining very hard. I was in the mood to walk, but I couldn’t. Rain was enough to get me wet (n’ wild, haha).

Bad luck#5: The band director seemed to forgot that it was the day before my birthday, and didn’t do our traditions for celebrants. Or he was simply not acknowledging it because he doesn’t like me: one reason could be his past with my brother (he’s one of his disciples who went “baah baah black sheep” on him). Or he simply doesn’t like me because I was the inferior keyboardist.

Bad luck#6: Cathy didn’t show up at church on my birthday. I was counting on her to attend to the pre-encounter party. But she didn’t.

Bad luck#7: I had the worst case of head ache during my birthday, so I missed my SOL classes. As a result, Janine nagged on me. Sigh.
 
Bad luck#8: During my birthday. I’d like to eat whatever I wanted and as much as I can, but I couldn’t because I was broke.

Bad luck#9: My brother Ed didn’t wish me a happy birthday. Instead, he yelled at me when I asked him where he was headed.

Bad luck#10: It breaks my heart that I yelled at my mother when she talked to me about what happened between me and Ed. It’s like, I was picking a fight with her, but she was so patient with me. That made me guilty.

Bad luck#11: Period started during my birthday, so I got cramps the next day.

Bad luck#12: Someone at work filed a case against me for insubordination. You know, it’s because I didn’t freakin’ submit that stupid tracker they requiring. I am starting to hate the person.

Bad luck#13: I was late for work in 3 consecutive days because of the horrible traffic we have in the country.

Bad luck#14: There’s a glitch in my payroll. I’m missing two days, and my manager said that she’ll manually enter it. When they say “manual” it means it’ll be on the next pay period. I so hate my job.

Bad luck#15: I got another nagging session from Janine because I was late for cell group.

Bad luck#16: I attended the case hearing, and I don’t have anything to say except for “guilty and no comment,” which HR considered as “lack of interest with the job or company” and therefore, thinking about firing me. Whatever. And that horrible HR lady reminded me of a piranha. You know, that fish exists, but doesn’t have anything good to do. And really, she looked like a bit of piranha to me, too, especially the mouth part.

Bad luck#17: My mom told me to invite my friends over for a post birthday party this Sunday. Surprisingly, I invited over 30 friends (my friends multiply if they know I’m throwing party), and then learned that I’m the one to pay for it. Well, I could use the catering, but still, I have to buy the food and other stuff for the party.

Bad luck#18: Amongst that 30 people, I invited someone I don’t like, out of courtesy, and I can’t figure out a way how to “uninvite” her.

Bad luck#19: Out of impulsiveness, I invited some of my colleagues whom I’ve know for a long time, and understand what I’m going through. And now, I decided that I don’t want anyone from my job to know where I live, I can’t find a way to uninvite them. Sigh.

Bad luck#20: Everyone hates me because I’m a mean person.

8:00 AM – Wake up, have breakfast, do chores like arranging wardrobe and shoes or sometimes, do laundry.

10:00 AM – Watch telly, listen to music, read, or simply laze around the house while waiting for the Friday song line up.

11:00 AM – Browse phone and check if the songs are already installed. If not, download it. Check facebook.com while waiting.

12:00 PM – Have lunch.

12:30 PM – Cifra the songs, then practice.

3:00 PM – Go back to sleep.

6:00 PM – Wake up and prepare for work.

8:00 PM – Eat dinner on the desk while continue polishing the songs.

9:00 PM – Work onwards. During breaks, check e-mails, send texts, write on organizer and mark calendars. Plot weekly budget.

MARTEDI

5:00 AM – Go home from work.

6:30 AM – Breakfast.

7:00 AM – Clean up, shower, brush teeth

7:45 AM – Practice songs for Friday in piano.

8:30 AM – Sleep

4:00 PM – Wake up, prepare outfit for the day. Shower and prepare stuff needed for work and cell group meeting.

4:30 PM – Write entries and fill out missed dates in my journal.

5:00 PM – Cell group meeting and soaking.

6:30 PM – Off to work.

8:00 PM – Dinner at my desk.

9:00 PM – Work onwards. During breaks, check e-mails, send texts, write on organizer and mark calendars. Plot weekly budget.

MERCOLEDI:

5:00 AM – Go home from work.

6:30 AM – Breakfast.

7:00 AM – Clean up, shower, brush teeth

7:45 AM – Practice songs in piano.

8:30 AM – Sleep

4:00 PM – Wake up, prepare outfit for the day. Shower and prepare stuff needed for work and band practice.

5:00 PM – Practice and polish songs on piano. Browse phone for songs and download songs for Sunday.

6:30 PM – Band practice.

8:00 PM – Band devotion and sharing of journals.

8:30 PM – Leave CCC to work.

9:30 PM – Dinner at my desk and organize invites.

10:00 PM – Work onwards. During breaks, check e-mails, send texts, write on organizer and mark calendars.

GIOVEDI:

7;00 AM – Go home from work.

8:30 AM – Breakfast.

9:00 AM – Clean up, shower, brush teeth

9:30 AM – Sleep

5:00 PM – Wake up, prepare outfit for the day. Shower and prepare stuff needed for work and my close cell.

5:30 PM – Cell group with Jem and Neri.

6:30 PM – Leave home, off to work.

8:00 PM – Work onwards. Read novels, write giornale entries and text during breaks.

VENERDI:

5:00 AM – Go home from work.

6:30 AM – Breakfast.

7:00 AM – Clean up, shower, brush teeth

7:45 AM – Practice songs for Sunday in piano.

8:30 AM – Sleep

4:00 PM – Wake up, prepare outfit for the day. Shower and prepare stuff needed for work and Remyx.

4:30 PM – Eat dinner at home.

4:50 PM – Visit people and invite / force them to go to church.

5:10 PM – Arrive at church. Set up amps and instruments.

5:20 PM – Get hair done at the nearby salon.

5:30 PM – Pray along with the Remyxters during corporate prayer.

6:00 PM – Remyx proper.

8;00 PM – Socialize with Remyxsters. Unplug chords and wires and put back the instruments to its positions when not being used.

8:30 PM – Leave church, off to work.

10:00 PM – Snack at my desk, while working. Check emails and texts during breaks. Polish song line up for Sunday. Work onwards.

SAMEDI:

7;00 AM – Go home from work.

8:30 AM – Breakfast.

9:00 AM – Clean up, shower, brush teeth

9:30 AM – Sleep

3:00 PM – Wake up, pack stuff for violin classes and band practice. Fill out missed dates in the journal.

4:00 PM – Violin classes.

5:30 PM – Practice songs in piano.

6:30 PM – Band practice.

8:00 PM – Band prayer and devotion.

8:30 PM – Dinner with band mates Chok, Niko and Ria.

9:30 PM – Watch a movie with Mom.

11:00 PM – Lights out. Sleep.

DOMENICA:

8:00 AM – Wake up. Laze around.

8:30 AM – Quick breakfast.

8:40 AM – Cram to prepare for the outfit for the day. Prepare stuff needed at the service.

9:10 AM – Leave home, off to church.

12:00 PM – Lunch with family.

1:00 PM – Laze around, sleep.

2:30 PM – Prepare stuff for SOL classes, then leave home.

3:00 PM – SOL classes.

5:30 PM – Eat snacks, bond with friends from church.

6:00 PM – Evening service proper.

8:00 PM – Socialize with people.

8:30 PM – Dinner with friends.

Most people told me that I’ve lost weight. Well, I should, because I have no time to eat properly with this kind of schedule. I’ve missing a lot of things like shopping, and visiting people. Sigh.

Anyways, I’m truly happy with what I’m doing. I don’t have time to be idle, (I realized that whenever I’m idle, I’m havin’ depressing thoughts). Downside: I can’t really concentrate properly on my job and I don’t have time to work out anymore. Good thing volleyball season was over. We ended up in the second place, by the way, and I think that’s entirely my fault. I’ll tell you what happened.

WORK:
Something happened at work, and it’s entirely fault. I couldn’t stand the humilliation; I got so paranoid and I thought that everyone was talking about me. After few days, I confirmed that some people are talking about me, and I didn’t like it. What happened affected my job, because I was so distracted. I turned bitter towards people so what I did was avoid everyone else. I went back to being quiet, and surprisingly, a lot of people reacted to this.
My manager started asking me what happened, but I didn’t tell her. I didn’t have the courage yet to tell her that I hated her and almost everyone else at work for talking behind my back. Few days after, I wrote a ten page letter to her, telling her why and how much I hate her. I wrote the letter in My Sassy Sheets I got from NBS, so that no one would ever think that it’s a hate mail. It’s true that it was very unprofessional of me, but i can’t take it anymore. i just hate her so much that seeing her everyday at work become a struggle for me. And I freakin’ didn’t care if that letter would be the cause of my termination; I was ready for it, anyway.

To my relief, she didn’t say anything about it. I guess she’s pretending that she didn’t get anything from me, but that’s fine with me. I just want to let go of my grudge, ’cause I’m the one who’s getting emotionally stressed for holding some grudge, not her.

CHURCH NEWS:

Pretty much, I’m getting used to it, though my skills need to improve. Ocassionally, I get reprimanded for not knowing the songs, which, technically, I know, but appear not to, because of my lousy arrangements. I don’t know what’s wrong with me; when I practice the songs at home, I get them perfect and they sound really great. But then when I get to church, they sound so silly. Argh. It’s probably with the confidence, ’cause JC (Quence) told me that I looked nervous, one time.

My fellow musicians are cool. Unlike other musicians whose life revolves around their old guitars with their idols’ autographs on it, these bunch are very well-rounded. I’ll tell you about my band mates:

I’ll start with the band director: He’s a teacher in some posh school, a dad to baby Lucas and a leader of a cell with 12 boys. I’m amazed how he managed to visit them all in one week with his job, juggling it with spending time with his family. Oh, yeah, he’s a businessman too. With his wife as his business partner, they distribute health and wellness products, and they’re doing really good. He plays piano, drums, flute and all kinds of guitars

Next is the newly appointed assistant band director, my very own Janine. She’s the one who invited me to church and encouraged me to play in the band. She’s probably the richest girl in the neighborhood; her mom’s a VP and her dad works somewhere overseas. She graduated in a really posh school (SVC) as a Suma Cum Laude and currently, she’s working in regular eight to five job, just like everyone else. I’m amazed how she can manage to practice playing piano and all kinds of guitar with her job and leading her cell group, which consists of thirty girls, including me. Well, she doesn’t really visit all of us, but she makes sure she’s in touch with us via facebook or text. Still, texting 30 girls per day, seven days a week is too much. And yet, she still have time to par-tay with her friends and colleagues. You should look at her facebook account. She went to Southville for college.

Tonet: the lead guitarist for both Friday and Sunday peewees. She used to be the bassist for both Friday and Sunday teams, but good ol’ Van left the group without telling us the reason, so she replaced him. And she’s even better and more dedicated than him. I don’t know much about her activities but I think she’s the least well-rounded person in the group. She doesn’t go to school, and she doesn’t have a job, that’s why she’s really good  with her guitars (she plays both electric and base). Her other life is leading her cell group, and I’m not sure how many girls she has. She plays drums and all kinds of guitars.

Cecile: one of the lead singers for Sunday peewee. She used to be a teacher for children with Down Syndrome, and now, she’s back in school to take her Master’s Degree. She leads a cell group with approximately 18 girls in it. She’s a great host and she’s good with media designs too. Unlike everyone of us, she doesn’t know how to play any kind of musical instrument.

Ria: A teenage girl from a strict Catholic school. She has the best vocals in the bunch, and plays piano and guitars. Mind you, she’s not just average with it, but one of the best. Aside from being the lead singer for both Sundays and Fridays, she helps me with arrangements. She’s very good at dancing (but wasn’t able to show it because she’s tied up to singing), acting and playing volleyball.

Ayne: He’s like the Joeleth Timethous Houston of CCC. You know, son of senior pastors and very talented, just like the real Joeleth Timethous Houston. He’s the official drummer of both Friday and Sunday team. When he’s playing drums, you won’t know that he’s a highschooler. He just turned fourteen when I first got in the church, and I think that’s about a year ago. He’s busy leading his cell of approximately nine boys, all highschoolers (except for the twins Justin and Joshua, who’re both in their freshmen year in college), going to Statefields, playing drums for church and whatever highschool boys do like computer games and sports for hobbies. He sings and plays accoustic guitar too.

Kakay: She’s a prodigy and the youngest amongst the musicians. She plays in the Sunday team, but she used to be in the Friday team too. I heard her dad pulled her out from the Friday team to concentrate on getting her grades up. She just turned fourteen, and she’d mastered all kinds of instruments except for violin and cello we have in our band. She plays a mean piano and she’s great with guitars and drums. Plus, she sings too. I had a chance to chat with her older brother who’s in college one time. His older brother told me that he’s proud of his baby sister because she’s so smart and intelligent not just in music, but also in school. The down side; she’s a bit lazy. She goes to Statefields, just like Ayne.

Chok: He graduated with an engineering degree in college, and yet he chose to help out with their family business, which is selling Banana Q’s. He’s one of the newly seeded-up male leaders to replace Bryan and Kristian. He plays all kinds of guitars and I’ve seen him once play “Right Here Waiting for You”, the original piano version by Richard Marx, not the Monica and Jagged Edge RnB’d version in piano. What’s unique about him is his right point finger; half of it is missing. Haha. He’s currently busy forming his twelve boys, helping out in their family business, driving his family members around and helping out the creative media team at CCC. He’s the Sunday rhythm guitarist. I don’t know where he went for college, ’cause he’s so old (27).

Jayne: She just graduated with a computer degree in some infamous college (no offense meant) and works at CCC full time. She sings the lead part (if she can hit the notes) during Fridays and Sundays alongside with Ria. She plays guitars and very good at drums too.

Niko: The bassist who quitted right away, and I wasn’t sure why. We go out a lot, but aside from music, we don’t have anything in common. I’m not sure if I need to put him on the list. Haha. He went to DLSU for college.

Arjo: The male lead singer and the lead guitarist for Fridays. He used to be the drummer for Fridays, but I guess, the band director saw his potential to front the group. And this would be the most biased thing I’ll ever write. Haha. He’s the tall, dark and…. not that handsome. But he’s a good dresser. And he did get my attention when I first saw him (but I totally ignored that feeling, you know?). Aside from being a talented musician, he’s also a varsity member of a famous college basketball team. I do have a slight crush on him because of ALL that, but I don’t hope we end up together, ’cause he just turned seventeen. Yikes. But a lot of people said that we make a cute couple.

Weinber: The lead guitarist for Fridays and former back up guitarist for Sundays. He wasn’t a looker, but with his hair up a la Dao Ming Zu mixed with a little of Mick Jagger effect when he plays the guitar, he looks so adorable. Plus he’s your all-around nice guy. That’s why Des is so in love with him (haha.) He goes to college (TUP) and very good good at computers.

Chris: The bassist for Fridays, a reliever for Sundays and one of the best vocalist every regional conference. Okay. I heard he’s a model. He does look like a bit of  model to me, but ew. The first time I saw him, his hair was up, just like Weinber’s, but he had this odd-looking little mullet dangling on his nape. He looks very unhealthy because of his hair. Did I mention that he was blonde? And he’s clad with old board shorts and a shirt that looked like it hadn’t been washed for a month. He’s just gross. I would imagine that he’d smell really, really bad if he comes near me. But then, he got a make over when he started to play. He dyed his hair with black, which looked very good in him and started dressing appropriately with simple jeans and T-shirts. That’s when I believed that he’s a model. He goes to college, and judging from his Facebook account, he loves travelling in and out of the country and friends with some celebrities like Rufa Guttierez and Coco Martin. He plays drums and all kinds of guitars. He went to Adamson for college.

Uzi: The bassist for Fridays. If Chris is gross, his grosser. No offense meant, really. His Adam Sevani hair always looked so greasy. Adding to his untidy effect was his piercing on his upper lip. Yuck. He’s always clad in a vintage shirt with a plaid shirt over it. He reminds me of a ghetto, “skater-boi”. But then, he cut his hair very short when he started to play the base guitar. I didn’t recognized him. I think he’s busy with his school and rumored girlfriend, so he settled for the “reserve bassist” role. His transformation isn’t dramatic as Chris, but at least, there’s a change. Inspite of untidy appearance, people love him (including me) because he’s so funny and smart.

Liezel: One of the lead singers during Fridays and a regional conference reliever. She goes to college. I could tell that she’s very smart and intelligent just by the way she talks (and writes her devotional journal.) She’s an all around nice girl, but we don’t get along because of the cultural gap. Haha. Honestly, she’s the most vocally-challenged in the group. I wasn’t sure how she got in. Anyways, aside from talented folks, we also accepted “committed” people. So, probably, it’s her commitment that gave her a spot in the band.

Charm: One of youngest, and the cutest girl in the bunch of Friday back up singers. She belongs to the “rare breed” of committed and talented people. I barely know her because we don’t go out that much. I guess, it’s the age gap. I could tell that she’s gonna be a great singer someday; she just needs to overcome her shyness. Her next career step is getting on the Sunday team.

Feb: One of the Friday back up singers and Weinber’s youngest sister. She’s in highschool. I don’t know much about her, because we don’t talk that much. Perhaps, it’s the age gap again.

Nami: One of the Friday back up singers. He reminds me of a young Gary Valenciano. He has a bright future in his music career, only if he’s as committed as the Sunday musicians. He’s a very nice kid, very chatty, bubbly and outgoing. All the tweeny girls he meets become instant admirer that you could label him as the “crush ng bayan”. When I first got into the Friday team, he’s the first New Breed to talk to me. The boy’s got real charm (but it didn’t work on me, due to age gap, and he isn’t really my type), and I instantly knew why tweenies are all over him. Seriously. I’ve seen him play guitar one time. He goes to a private high school (St. Francis.)

Rudolph: A.K.A. Lloyd. Ria’s younger brother who goes to the same strict Catholic school (St. Jerome’s) and the total opposite of her sister. If they have one thing in common (aside from coming from the same parents) it’s singing. I find it very odd that I act like a stage mom to him. I always encourage him to work harder, push it to the limit and at least, learn an instrument or two. Yup, unlike his sister, he’s very thin, very shy, and doesn’t know how to play any kind of instrument. Well, he’s probably a late bloomer, like yours truly.

Jam: The newest recruit. She goes to college (PNU), and I don’t know anything about her (yet). But judging from the previous band practices, she lacks commitment.

Kash: A returnee. She’s one of the old church band (long time ago, when we’re not yet called Levites) who left, to pursue a degree in University of the Philippines. She just quit from school recently and went back home (she and her family lives 30 meters away from my home). Given her free time, she committed to the band. I’m totally a fan of her and her voice because they’re both relaxing (haha). She’s a breath of fresh air for the band. She can’t play any musical instrument (that’s fine with me, her voice makes up for it). She’s planning to go to DLSU this sem. Just like yours truly, she plays volleyball too.

Billy: The Sunday media artist. His job is to ensure that every mic works and everyone could sing along with us by flashing the lyrics on the screen. His job is similar to roadie.

Dada; The Friday media artist. His job is to ensure that every mic works and everyone could sing along with us by flashing the lyrics on the screen. His job is similar to a roadie.

Lastly, yours truly. I got invited in the church a year ago, and the first time I saw them play, I was fascinated. I was like, “It’d be such an honor to be on the band.” I do play piano and a little bit of accoustic guitar, but I wasn’t that good. In fact, I haven’t played in public, and when someone watches me, I always mess it up. But thanks to Janine’s encouragement, I had the courage to try to get in the band. I’m the official keyboardist for Fridays and and the back up for Sundays. I used to be the opener keyboardist for Sundays, but the church org bought a new Korg so that Kakay and I can both play at the same time (she uses the Korg while I got stuck with the old Yamaha, don’t tell her, The Korg is just new, but the Yamaha is use still sound better, especially the bright piano effects, haha.) Aside from piano, I play guitar and violin. I’m planning to take drum lessons after I’ve mastered violin.

Tell you what, I thought if you know how to play an instrument, you can try out in the band, and the director will teach you the song arrangements during band practices when you get in. But I was wrong. You figure it out on your own. When I get into training, I started learning the songs on my own, which is not that easy as it looks like. When I finally got in and started playing, things got even harder for me. I learned a lot of things (aside from playing better in piano, haha); I realized the value of the time and commitment. I learned that you can achieve anything as long as you’re persistent, willing to put on more hours of practice, and open-minded to constructive criticism. Well, as for destructive criticism, it’s either I should forget about that, or turn it to a constructive criticism, which is never gonna happen since destructive criticism is really intended to harm you and hurt your ego. Haha. Normally, I’d be sensitive, and throw a tantrum if someone says a bad thing about me. Or worse, I’ll make that person’s life miserable
subconsciously. But in my position, there’s no room for that. We can’t afford to act like a diva because there’s a lot of younger and more talented musicians lined up to replace us. That’s why I never miss a Friday or Sunday performance.

In all fairness, I got five positive feedbacks from people. Yup, I’m keeping tabs, ’cause I’d really like to know people are pleased with what I do. Of course, I’m doing this to please God (considering the sacrifices I made), but still, I want to get people’s approval too.

First feedback was from Tita Vicki. I overheard her telling my mom, “Oy, ang galing ng anak mo ha!”

Second feedback: I was waiting for a ride in front of the church after one Remyx. Weinber and his friend showed up, and I took the obvious that they’re there to wait for a ride too. Weinber, being a nice guy that he is, said hello to me and asked me where I was headed. I said I was headed to work, and then, the guy he was with told me that I did a great job on the keyboards. “Ang galing mo…” he said. Well, that was really random. I never got a compliment from people that I don’t know. I think Weinber said something about my big improvement, and I thanked them both, commenting that I’d like to do the “head bang”, but I was just scared that I’ll mess everything up. The guy was like, “It’s okay. At least you’re still poised.” One mistake though; I didn’t give God the credit.

Third feedback: From Des. I was lazily propped on the leather couch when she told me that I’m started to sound like Kakay. Hooray!

Fourth feedback: I was putting away my instrument and the wires one night. Edbert looked up to the stage and said, “Ang galing mo!”

Fifth feedback: I was in a grocery store, shopping for junk food (ice cream and chips). In one of the aisles, a highschooler bowed to me, as if I was Korean or Japanese elder lady. I was like, “What the heck are you doing?”, but I went, “Oh, hi! How are you?” to which he replied with complete gusto. But then, he wasn’t really familiar to me so I asked, “Do I know you from some place else?” He said that he’s from the church, and he recognized me as the “great pianist.” Well, that’s very nice.

Of course, if there are positive feedbacks, there are negative too. The worst I’ve heard was from Dada, the projector guy. It was during my first as the lead keyboardist for Friday. He told me that I ruined up the band practice, and I need to put on more hours on my individual practice at home. I was like, “Who are you?” But then I realized that he was just trying to help me out improve. But still, he could’ve said it much nicer. Anyways, that moment was really humbling. I’ll remember to stay on grounded.

SPORTS:

We ended up in second place, and it’s entirely my fault. I don’t usually do this, and I hate to admit that I sabotaged my own team. Yup. I’m such a bad person, noh? Who would sabotaged her own team? Well, some athletes do, but they were offered big amount of money to sabotage their games. I wasn’t offered a single centavo; I just did it because I was mad at everyone else. Bong got an operation to remove his appendix, so he wasn’t able to play for sometime.  It’s not a big problem for us since we have MJ. But then, we’ll have one sub, and that’s Sally. We can’t afford to lose even one single player.

So okay, we started off with a team of twelve. I gave up on the others because they’re not just committed. We endedlolid and committed players, including me. We’re such a power house team; everyone knows how to dig and to spike.

I’ll tell you what: I’m such a b**** captain. I’d like to aim for perfection and I don’t like mistakes in our games. When I look back to the person I was during the game, I hated myself. It’s just hard to be like that, and a good Christian girl at the same time. It’s like, I was schizophrenic.
Anyways, I got mad everyone for no reason (probably, I was upset with the work thing), so I didn’t show up during championship.

Oh wait, not exactly. I wanted them to think that I wasn’t gonna show up in the game, and then they’ll lose hope, but then, I’ll show up like Michael Jordan’s dramatic entrance in his baseball in that movie Space Jam, and they’ll all cheer up. That’s what I originally planned, but then, the series of my bad luck continued, so I was so pissed and it ruined my mood to give the hero-show up. Haha. I so hate myself for that.

I subconsciously told Mi Jan about it during one of our cell meetings; I was advising some girl about her love life (how ironic). I put my advise like this, “It’s not bad to feel something for someone, like a crush, admiration, or even love. What matters is how you manage it on the right time.” The girl asked, “Did you ever have a crush, Ate Reg?” OMG. She thinks that I’m such a cold-hearted lass.

“Why, of course I do!” I exclaimed. “In fact, I have dozens, but it’s not that obvious because I barely talk to them, or look at them unless needed.” Silence. I guess they’re all shocked to know that I’m actually human, who’s incapable of feeling something for others.
 
“So, do you have a crush around here?” Another girl asked. All eyes are still on me, and I simply couldn’t just lie. “Yes.” I figured the next question would be, “Who?” so I told them, “and I am not telling  you girls.” They all roared, as in literally, in protest. Even Mi Jan snapped at me. “Come on, tell us!”
 
After minutes of threatening not to attend events that I would plan in the future, I finally told them. MI Jan went, “I knew it. I knew he’s your type.” I was like, “Really? Was it that obvious?”
 
“No, not really,” she answered, “but when you described your type, he’s the only one who fits your standards, and I was so close of suggesting that you should have a crush on him….” She told me about the downside, to (yeah, the age thing).
 
Well, it’s not really meant to be, haha. I don’t want to be a cougar, and I am too young to be a cougar. I think someone asked what I was gonna do with my feelings. I think I answered, “ignore it… it’ll go away after some time.” Or after I see another crushable guy.
 
The event started. The lead counselor told us to play a song, which I’ve never dreamed, or even wished to play. It’s a pretty boring song, if you ask me. The arrangements is plainly piano, and there’s no bouncy beat to dance with. Good thing Tonette was so supportive that she yells the chords while she’s leading in the guitar. I was saved from embarassment and major mess-up.

After playing the song, Kakay showed up. We sat on the backseat, very bored, wishing that we’re somewhere, eating something.
 
She suggested that we excuse ourselves from the event, since we’re not really needed anymore, and we go to SM Molino.

I agreed to her plan and took Kristine Rasay with us. I bought a violin, and we ate in Jollibee, as per the girls’ request.Until now, I still don’t get why young people are into fastfood. We bump into Krisha (San Luis) at NBS, who bought us another round of desserts.
 
We strolled around the mall, buying stuff here and there. After shopping Tin and I went with the rest of the Reapers at McDonalds to gave a cell group meeting. As usual, many of us showed up late. I told them off about valuing other’s time, but they really don’t take me seriously, especially Ruth, who always arrive 30 mintues before the meeting ends, which is approximately, 3 hours the max.
 
After cell group meeting, Mi Jan and I went back to CCC to attend the band practice. I haven’t slept for 32 hours already, but I still have the energy to play. The practice went well, so we’re let go early by the band director. Instead of going home, I ate out with Chok, Niko and Ria. They’re like, my new found friends from CCC. I really enjoy being with them, though we’re in different age brackets (Chok’s 27, Niko’s 20, Ria’s 15 and I’m 22). We never run out of things to talk.

I got very busy with my life after “The Great Depression.” I woke up one day, not caring about what people think of me. I was like, “I’ll do what I want and I’ll do whatever makes me happy.” And of course, it means boring stuff. Things that make me happy are usually boring. Haha.

So okay, I gathered myself; I organized everything and started giving value of my time. I learned from the Encounter that there’s a higher purpose for me, and I think I knew what it is.

Janine gave up on Jem. She thought that a weak personality should be handled by the strong one. I haven’t really thought about that, but I accepted the challenge. So, every Thursday evenings, before I go to work, I go to their house and listen to Jem and her Hannah Montana-like problems. Until now I couldn’t believe that Jem and Janine are related.

Work’s fine. I was one of the original members of last year’s volleyball team, so I got elected as the team captain. I recruited new players from different universities, and I could say that we’re such a powerhouse team, but we still lost during the first game. I think I got over confident, because I knew that our team was a strong one, we didn’t practice. I gave the setter the instructions to set the ball after its received and the spikers will take care of it. I forgot about the defense part, so, we lost. Haha.

I was successful in inviting old acquaintances to church. But I think they’re not coming back because their lives were already perfect, and they don’t need God. Haha. Okay, let them be.

I think I mentioned about joining the Levites on my previous entries. The church band’s called Levites, headed by Kuya Rommel, who inherited the job from his wife, Ate Dawn, after she gave birth. By the way, our band is not your average boring church band. The musicians are skilled, talented and hard-working. We play different genres, but we’re deeply rooted in the alternative-rock genre, just like Hillsong United.

I went under 6 months of training, which consisted of 6 months of seating in on every practice, and wondering when will I ever actually play in the band.

New recruits Chok and Niko came, so I got worried. I got worried that they’d get to play before me because everyone knows that they used to be in a band together, meaning they’re a lot better than me (unlike me, who never played in public). I know it shouldn’t be a competition, but I can’t help to be insecure. I am ALWAYS insecure, almost about everything. Argh.

Before I finally get to play, I decided to take lessons. Instead of hiring someone else to teach me advanced piano lessons, I hired the band director who charged me 500 bucks per hours. Well, that’s fine, because I’d really like to know if I’m fit to play for Levites. If the teacher says that I’m tone-deaf, I won’t play. I’ll stop attending the band practices and will stop training.

First session:

Teacher calls me on my phone, waking me from my sleep.

“I’m right here outside your house,” he said, in a “dude-let-me-in” tone.

My brother let him in. I got dressed, grabbed some pens and a notebook. After few minutes, we’re in front of my piano slash keyboard.

“Do you have a surgical tape?” He asked? I was like, “Huh? What for? Will my hands be bloody after the lesson?”

“We need to cover the chords on your keyboard. You have to memorize the chords.” I told him that I got it memorized long time ago, so that won’t be necessary. I think he wasn’t quite convinced, so he asked me to show him, which I gladly did. I guess he changed his lesson plan; he had to go fast forward.

Since I know everything that he needs to teach me, we just focused on some finger excercises. He gave me chords to play and some quizes, in which I got perfect scores. Smiley face inserted here.

By the end of the lessons, he told me that I was easy to teach, and I truly know how to play. He told me to present a song next to him next meeting, which would probably the last meeting too. I was like, “Are you kidding? This our first lesson, and next lesson would be the last?” He said that it could be the last, since there’s nothing he can think of that I need to learn. Thank God.

If you think about it, it’s truly amazing. My parents are both tone-deaf; we don’t possess that musical gene in the family. But still, I was able to learn the piano without a teacher. Thank you, God. Smiley face inserted here.

Second meeting:

I decided that I’ll play Hillsong’s “Through It All”. I know the song by heart, and it’s pretty easy. Oops, i take it back. It’s not an easy song; in fact, it has a lot of over chords in it. It’s just easy for me because I’ve been playing that song for a long time.

Teacher arrived and we got started. I played Through It All. He asked me right after, “Where’d you get the chords?” I panicked. I got scared that he’ll get mad if I tell him that I got it from Youtube, so I lied (I know it’s wrong to lie, I won’t do it again), “From Mi Jan.”

He asked me to play another song. I played Hillsong’s “Oceans Will Part”, which displays a beautiful piano part. The song was hard, but thanks to Youtube, I was able to get the chords right. My hands got a little shaky because I was so scared of my teacher, so I kind of messed it up a bit.

He told me to play a third song. This time, I stick with the basics. I did Hillsong’s Here I am to Worship, the Reuben Morgan version. He stopped me during the middle of the song. He changed the chords a little bit, and told me to start from the beginning, which i did, without questions asked.

He’s such a poker-face. I couldn’t tell whether he’s pleased with what I did or not. But after the third song, he told me what I did was correct, and I should be fine. Yay!

He just made me practice with tempo, and gave me quizes. Again, I got everything perfect. Yay!

Third Meeting:

He thought me the scales. I don’t remember much about it because I was too distracted about his good news; I’ll play next Sunday! Weeeeeehhhhhhhhh!

Come middle June, I filed a 3-day leave from work. I think I deserve a break from work to meditate, gather myself and clear my mind. During the 3-day leave, I read Alex Flinn’s “A Kiss in Time.”

A KISS IN TIME

It’s about Sleeping Beauty, but the story was about what happened after she got kissed by her prince.
The princess’ name was Talia. She fell into a deep sleep when she got her finger pricked on her 16th birthday, because she’s cursed by the witch Malvolia.

The other fairies thought it would be the best for the kingdom of Euphoria (don’t remember if it’s right) to be put under a sleep spell, so that Talia wouldn’t be alone when she wakes up.

Three hundred years later, soon-to-be freshman looking for adventure (and a beach) wound up in Talia’s kingdom. He fount Talia in the attic, and out of impulse, kissed her. Soon, everyone was awake, including Talia.

They didn’t notice that they’ve been sleeping for three hundred years, until Jack and Talia came clean about it. Everyone blamed Talia for messing things up, so she devised an escape plan involving Jack. Jack was against  it at first, but Talia told him that she’ll tell the king Jack did something wrong to her (like, sexually harassed her) if he doesn’t take her with him.

Without a choice, Jack took Talia with him to the United States. His parents freaked out and wanted the princess out of their house, not know who she really was.

The witch Malvolia was still after Talia. She kidnapped the princess when she got the chance, and hid her in her cottage (she transported the princess back to Europe using magic). Talia learned the truth why Malvolia put her under a curse, and why she’s determined to kill ber

Malvolia turned out to be nice, after all. She had a deal with Talia that she’ll let her go if Jack proves that she’s his one true love. Malvolia taught Talia to make  a dress for herself, which she’d be wearing when she delivers her dead body to the king.

Meanwhile, Jack told his parents the truth, and surprisingly, Jack’s dad believed him. They flew to Belgium right away, just in time for Jack to save Talia.

Malvolia let the princess go with Jack. When they got back, Talia explained to her father why Malvolia was so mad at them that she wanted them all dead. The king let Malvolia live in peace.

Talia and Jack went to college. Evan (Jack’s dad) helped out to develop Talia’s country by making it like theme park.
It was a great novel, and it’s one of favorites now. I give 10 out of ten stars for. It was beautifully written, easy to understand, and very funny.

The Last Thursday Before My First Ever Performance:

I got freakin’ worried and nervous when I got the text of song line-up from our band director; I was assigned to play Everlasting God by Lincoln Brewster and Everyone by Planetshakers. First of, those songs are new for me. I don’t really listen to it that much because they’re too noisy, and suit in a punk-rock concert. Second, I only watch Hillsong concert, and listen only to Hillsong music.

I got kind of panicky, and the other two boys (whom I’ve grown close to) were no help at all. Just like me, Niko felt panicky too, and Chok was too busy helping him out. Chok can’t help me because he only play all sorts of string instruments except for piano, organd and keyboards. Oh great. I called Janine for help, and she said she’ll help me with Everyone, so that felt a little better.

I concentrated on Everlasting God, and it turned out really better than I thought. It wasn’t that hard. Yay.
Thank you God for cellphones. I used to be allergic to cellphones before; I turn it off for days and only turn it back on when I have to call someone or send a text. I don’t have a particular reason… probably, I just hated being bothered by people. Before, I use it to take pictures, but since I now have a very nice GE camera, I don’t need it, so I left it to rot. It’s pretty old anyway.

I think Mom noticed, so one day, she asked me what phone I wanted to buy for myself. I told her anything’s fine, as long as it’s pink or lavender. Or something that shows my personality. Then, she came back to our house, and showed what she bought. It’s a Corby II. It wasn’t the most expensive phone in the world, but still, I appreciated the thought. Mom bought the pink model for me. The screen was large, but the phone itself was thing, and it wasn’t that heavy. The memory was up to 8 GB; I could download a lot of stuff in it, like songs and vids. Plus the sound was awesome. I loved the phone Great Mom = great phone.

Using my new cellphone, I learned the songs assigned to me. Awesome.

The Last Saturday Before My First Ever Performance:

When I woke up, I felt butterflies in my stomach. You’re supposed to get that when you’re in love. In my case, I was just so nervous and excited.

I paid a visit to the Arriesgado girls, who were constantly making excuses to decline my invitation to attend church. They’d say yes now, then you can’t find them later. I’d hate to admit this, but I actually learned a lesson. I usually say yes to people’s invitations (parties, recitals, dinners, you name it), then bail the last minute. What you sow is what you reap. Indeed.

So okay, I went to their house, and I could tell that everybody was pretty annoyed, but they still pretended to be happy to see me. Well, if they’re happy to see me, they would’ve let me in as quickly as possible, and won’t let the sun dry me up like a raisin.

And as usual, they accepted my invitation and told me to pick them up. AND AS USUAL, I told them I’d be there to pick them, and I was actually excited. Yay.

I went to church for the practice. Everyone was there on time (the band director’s really strict when it comes to time), but Niko and Chok were exceptionally earlier than everyone else. Probably, just like me, they’re excited. And nervous.
Our turn to practice first. Kakay stepped out behind the keyboard to give way to, ahem, me. We listened to Planetshaker’s Everyone, and given a minute to prepare to play. Ayne counted with his drumstick (just like what Luke Munns do in Hillsong United concerts) and we took off.

Haaaaaaaaaaahhhhh. My fingers were actually shaking! My knees were like jelly; I was sweating too much, more than I do when I play volleyball or any other sport, though the room was airconditioned, and I was wearing a denim miniskirt and a breezy top. To make things worse, Des was snapping pictures of everyone using Niko’s camera. I’d like stop her, but I was scared that if I talk or move anything that’s not related to playing my instrument, I’ll mess the whole thing up.

“Wow, you look beautiful in this picture, sis!” She exclaimed.Since that was the case, I just let her.

We did a great job in “Everyone”.

Everlasting God- Chok’s leading this song, and he messed up on his instrumentals (the part of the song wherein you show off your musical skills, haha). We tried it like three times, but Chok kept on stopping. Kuya Rommel decided to change the song to Kristian Stanfill’s Happy Day.

Now, it’s my turn to mess up. I know the song, but I haven’t tried to play the song, or even practice it at home. Kakay stepped up, and I watched. After 5 minutes, it’s over, and I supposed to get and learn everything, from the intro up to the chorus. Whew. The worst part is, there’s a major piano and trumphet solo in that song, and since we don’t have a trumphet, it’s my responsibility to give the same effect. Oh wow, no pressure. To tell you the truth, I was scared to death, though people see it as a positive thing and go like, “Go Reg! It’s your time to shine!” or “You can do it Reg!” Waaaah.

Kuya Rommel told me to practice Happy Day when I get home. Approximately, I have twelve hours to practice before the big performance.

We all went home. I walked home with Chok, NIko and Ria. If I got shy, Chok and Niko felt humilliated. They admitted that they felt like children who didn’t know what to do during recitation. Chok kept blaming himself. He said that it was so embarassing for him to be the cause of the song change. If you’re there, you’d realize that guys could have a bad case of insecurity too.

I really did practice when I got home. One song = two hours. It was half past midnight when I finally went to bed. Out of too much excitement and tiredness, I fell asleep right away.

THE BIG DAY:

I wore a white ruffled top and a black pencil skirt, matched with a 5-inch silver and purple stilletoes. I didn’t look like I was gonna play in the band; I looked like I was going to a corporate meeting. I think was too excited to care about how I look, so I left home early for church.

Chok and Niko were early too. Our familiies sat on front and took out cameras to take picures. Geez! I was like, “Hello, this a church service, not a concert!”

Everything turned out to be fine, though just like what I’ve expected, I messed up a little with my piano – trumpet part, but nonetheless, it’s still good, and nobody really noticed. When I got down from stage, Weinber and his friends were like, “Yay, you did great! Congratulations of getting regularized!” and slapped my hand, as if I was guy. Duh, didn’t you see the high heels and skirt? Anyways, I thanked them. I got more smiles of approval, high fives and hugs as I walked back from the stage to my seat. Ate Dawn commented that my hands were so cold, probably because of nervousness. Well, not really. My hands are really cold, and I get a lot of complaints from people, not that I’m holding hands with them, duh, well, sometimes I do, especially with Jen or Gela. Sometimes I pinch people’s cheeks or arms. It’s not even the “sweat cold hands” but the “ice cold hands” that some friends joked that if I dip my hands and leave them on a pitcher of orange juice, it’ll be good as if you put it on the fridge.

The rest of the day went well. After church I ate out with my family, Mom’s treat. I don’t really get why my brothers love fastfood so much. Aside from it makes you fat, it makes your face oily and pimply too. I didn’t have any choice but to eat in Jollibee because we didn’t have time to get what I wanted from other dining place. We had to go shopping right after and then go back to church for our separate cell group meetings and then I have to play for another service later in the afternoon.

By the end of the day, Kuya Rommel texted me, saying, “Good job, nag-excel ka na.” That meant a lot to me, you know. He’s an epic musician, so getting a compliment from him means everything in my music career (if ever I have one, haha.)

Then, few days later, they offered me the pianist spot for the Friday Youth service. I got kind of excited but nervous at the same time. It’s a pressure to replace Kakay, who got pulled out by her dad from the Friday team because she has to concentrate on her grades. Did I mention that Kakay’s a prodigy? She’s only fourteen, and she can play difficult songs already, not just in piano but also in guitar and in drums. She’s a great musician, no doubt about that. But I doubt that I can meet the same standards. Yeah, I do play some other instruments, but not as good as her. Plus she can play by ear, unlike me, who has to watch a youtube video a hundred times before I can get the song.

FIRST REMYX BAND PRACTICE:

Thank God for cellphones. Aside from being able to use it to play the songs over and over when I’m trying to learn them, you can get the song line-up whenever, wherever you.

So okay, I got the line up by Monday morning, and went ahead to study the songs. I couldn’t freakin’ believe that I have to study six songs and I have forty-eight hours to do it. Rain Down (by Delirious) and Your Grace is Enough (by Chris Tomlin) were very easy. Hillsong’s Love You So Much and God is Awesome and Kari Jobe’s You are Good proved to be a tough challenge for me. And who is Kari Jobe, by the way? She’s all new to me, ’cause I’ve grown up listening to Don Moen, Hillsong, Paul Wilbur and Musikatha. I lost track of the Christian music ’cause I stopped going to church for awhile, and then, when I got back, they’re all playing Planetshakers, Hillsong United, Gateway Worship, Soulfire Revolution, Kristian Stanfill and Chris Tomlin, which are so far from the quiet and peaceful Hillsong music that I used to hear ten years ago.

I’d be the lead in the last three songs plus All Things are Possible, so it’s a huge pressure and challenge. Unfortunately, I got zero out of four. If this is school, I could’ve flunked the test by now.

We always end the practice with a meeting, wherein we talk about the songs, take suggestions, decide what to wear and also, pray.

Just by the band director’s words, I could tell that he’s reallly annoyed. He’s like, “Before you get in here, make sure you know how to play the songs. Step your game up. We’re playing for God, not for people, so do your best.” Ouch! That hurts. He didn’t say it directly to me but it was so obvious that it’s for me because I was the only person who messed up.

The projector guy told me to practice more because I “ruined the whole” practice. That hurt more. I can take a criticism from a pro, but he’s the projector guy! I mean, hello! He’s the projector guy! He’s the projector guy because he can’t play an instrument! I’d like to tell him, “Hey, try playing a Love You So Much and let’s see if you can do it,” but I didn’t. Instead, I meekly said, “Okay, I promise to practice more at home.” It’s just so embarassing that I wanted to break down and cry in front of them. I sucked it up and did the tough-girl act in front of everyone else.

FIRST REMYX PERFORMANCE:

Friday morning: I was in the Philam court with my volleyball team, practicing. I’ve learned my lesson, and I won’t let my team to lose again. Under Bong’s expert coaching, we trained our defense and offense moves. Why didn’t I think of those technics before? Well, probably, I’m inexperienced. He used to play in NCAA for like, ten years, when he was young. I was truly positive that our game plan will help a lot for us to win.

My Friday performance was a lot better than my Sunday performance. Perhaps it’s the adranaline rush because of the energy of the youth, though tne last practice’s debacle was still fresh in my mind.

The message was awesome; it was about making your dreams come true. You know, I learned from the wife’s minister that if I have a dream, I should do something to fulfill it, including praying to the Lord, working hard and staying positive and focused to my goal. Fair enough. After the service, I left right away for work.
Work was okay. It’s the same stuff. Very routinary, I suppose. This job isn’t really making me happy at all, and I’m staying just because of the good pay.

I once told my mom that I envy my friends, for they have a lot of free time for themselves and to socialize. My mom said that my friends’ mothers told her that my friends envy me because I “have a lot” of money (or they just thought). Probably they meant that I could afford stuff that they couldn’t. I came to think that with this boring job, I wouldn’t be the subject of envy (financially) of my friends.

So, I decided to hold on for my dear life in the corporate world and keep my job.

Three days ago, I got fed up with my setter. I’m not sure why I got fed up, but I guess, it’s because of her attention starved-personality. Without any explanation, I just stopped talking to her. It’s proven and tested that if you want people to notice that you’re unhappy about the things going on, or you’ve got a problem, you better take a vow of silence and keep quiet. It’s much better that throwing a fit. They’ll notice that you’re quiet and when they ask you, just tell them whatever your problem is. If they do something about it, then good, but if not, extend your “vow of silence”.
 
Anyways, she asked me over and over what my problem was, but I figured that if I tell her soon, she might apologize, and I might forgive her, and there wouldn’t be any reason why we wouldn’t talk, which is my main problem; I don’t want to talk to her anymore. So, I gave it, like a week or so. A lot of people asked me why WE’RE giving her the silent treatment. What?! Well, apparently, most of my friends are giving her silent treatment too, but I swear, I never told them to do so.

You see what I mean? I wasn’t the only person who doesn’t like her. There’s a lot out there. And how would those people, for example, Sally, who asked me why I wasn’t speaking to this girl, know that I wasn’t speaking to her? Apparently, she told everyone else, including the guy from the other team. What I like about this girl is that she doesn’t go for the bitch kill. She’s like this innocent young girl who helplessly cries to other people’s shoulder and sob her problems out. She doesn’t do obvious backstabbing. Instead, she bats her doe-like eyes. Well, she reminds me of my old self, back in college. I cry nonstop, acting really helpless and innocent. It’s just now that I realize that it’s very annoying.

Anyways, I already graduated from that. I’ve got a new motto, by the way, “If being the vicitim doesn’t work for you anymore, try being the villain.”
And it was just earlier when I told her that why I was ignoring her the whole week. Take note, I did it via email. I just sent a one-liner message, and she replied a foot long email, single-spaced, which supposedly explain her side. There were many things mentioned in the email, like how we accuse her of lying about the injury in her hand, which was irrelevant, if you ask me. Who mentioned about her injury in the first place?

After few minutes of exchanging emails, I think she got hurt. I’ll admit it; I was kind of harsh. Well, i just told the truth. I said I don’t to be friends with her anymore, and I’m just putting the things in the past because we have a game later.

Suddenly, Nona told me to go on the meeting mode. She gestured to me to follow her, which I did, and she led me to her office. That girl was there, wiping her tears from her eyes between sobs. I wasn’t really surprised. I crossed my hands on my chest.

“Sit down,” Nona said. I was like, “What did I do this time? She’s bugging me nonstop to tell her what’s wrong, and when I did, she came running to you.”
So, okay, the girlie started drying her eyes and started to talk. She said she was unaware of what my problem was. Hello! I just told her! When I pointed it out to her, she didn’t seem to get it. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t talking to her for several reasons: !.) She’s a drama queen 2.) She’s attention-starved. She sees to it that she’s the topic of every minute of our discussion 3.) She’s gullible 4.) She’s a brat 5.) She can’t keep secrets 6.) She’s really untacky and more.. Quite a lot, right?

I didn’t enumerate it all to her because I simply don’t care. I jusr don’t want to be friends with her anymore. So, I told them that I wasn’t talking to her because whatever I said about anything or anyone, she tells it to the guy. And whatever the guy says about anything or anyone, she tells it to me and to the rest of our friends. I was quite a bit upset with the “spy-part”. Duh! I meant it, but it was also a joke, and she told him. You know how I knew? She told me in my face that she told the guy! Unbelievable. Her loyalty was indeed questionable.

That’s what I told her. I know, it’s kind of immature, but if you look at it in a deeper perspective, she’s not trustworthy. You can’t trust her. We can’t trust her.

Again, she sobbed and wiped her tears. I was surprisingsly calm. Normally, I would’ve shouted at this point.

Mike came. Nona announced that he should be included in the discussion. It turned out that they’re all ignoring her. I promise, I didn’t tell them a thing! Few days ago, several people asked me why I wasn’t talking to her. I was like, “How did you know? I was really discreet about it.” And they said, “She told us.” You see what I mean?

Mike said that he’s ignoring  her for the same reason. She’s blaming me because she thought that everyone was ignoring her because I told them to do so.

In the end, I told them that i don’t want to be friends with her anymore, but just for the sake of the game, I’m letting all bygones be bygones. She protested. She said, she can’t be fake. Well, nobody mentioned about being fake. What I wanted was to ignore her all the time, except if we’re on the game. She doesn’t want that and insisted that we should be friends again. Duh, she didn’t even apologized for what she did, and she wants to friends with me again. It’s as if she doesn’t get a thing of what I was saying.

Just to make her (and Nona) get off my back, I told them that we could be friends again, but we should start over. Still no talking unless necessary and no gossiping. By the way, they both like gossips. Anyways, I don’t remember what happened, but I think she hugged me, I let her, but didn’t hug her back, and we went to prepare for the game.

GAME FACE ON:

It’s really hard to concentrate if you don’t have enough sleep. After the talk, we all went to the pantry to sleep. Since they’re all aware that EACH OTHER was there, they seemed to be distracted and resorted to talking, then, goofing around with each other. Somebody even took out several bag of potato chips, so we all started munching on the couches. Soon, everyone was up, playing foozball. They made so much noise that I couldn’t sleep, so I joined them in making the noise. I became their cheerleader (I was on neither’s side), and I snap my camera ocassionally, for game-face-on pictures.

Around seven o’clock in the morning, i gathered my team. As usual, the setter brought an early morning problem to me. She’s missing. I told Mike to stay at MOA and wait for her while I and the others proceed to the venue.

On our ride to the venue, we saw some of the members from the team we’re playing against. In fairness, they’re really nice to us. The Colet guy, whom I heard that one of his parents is an actor (or actress), was pretty good-looking. I’ve seen him play last year, and he’s good too. He played for Bene All-Stars last year, but now, he transferred to the HRO team. I actually tried to recruit him, along with that AJ guy, not for the reason that he’s good-looking or what (and he’s married, by the way), but because he’s good.

Tessa from the other team was nice too. She asked me why I was peeking to their sign off sheets the other week, with an understanding smile. I told her that I was looking for someone’s name, and I actually found it. Eeep.

We arrived at the venue and I started warming up right away. One by one, everyone came, including the players and their families. This time I didn’t regret not inviting my family and relatives to watch the game. I’m not superstitious and all, but it seems like everytime they watch, my team lose. So, to avoid “losing” I didn’t invite them.

If you want to go all scientific on me, okay, I’m nervous when they’re around, so I mess up a lot. Nuff said.

Like I said, everyone came. I’m playing captain this year, and it’s my first time. I have no idea how to do it, to tell you the truth. Out there, captains normally bark orders to her/his team mates, but now, I’m  not so sure. I just told everyone to get off from the bench and start warming up. I think I’m not scary enough, so I got one or two people off from the bench, one of them was my friend, whom I thought, obliged because he’s my friend. Ugh.

The game started. I saw the basketball referee from last year’s games. His stares makes me cringe. I don’t like it. Ew. I want to tell my friends about it so that they can make him stop, but it wasn’t the most important thing to do at the moment, so let it pass.

So okay, the AJ guy and the Colet guy tandem was unstoppable. They’re both high jumpers and good spikers, and we’re messed up, so, obviously, we started losing points. I’d like to think that my team’s a powerhouse because I’ve got setter from UP, a 1987 (a year before I was born, I always tease him) as a playing coach, a six feet, 5 inches center blocker and few minor varsity members but highly trained from famous unversity and college teams.

You know what, that AJ guy actually thought so too. Probably, it was the thing he’s spying that day we practiced.

No idea what went wrong; perhaps, everything. The setter was so messed up, and it was obvious that the AJ guy was targetting her. You know, the technique to get a point in VB is to hit the setter when it’s your turn to spike. The setter will of course get it with a dig, and when they get with a dig, it’s hard to set. Since you hit the setter, the next person who’s supposed to set the ball have 50 percent chance of setting it the right way, because he’s not trained for that. Not unless, that person is a trained setter too.

That’s what happened. They hit our setter over and over again, and we lost points over and over AGAIN. Green face inserted here. Whatever. I don’t want to talk much about it today because I HATE THIS DAY.  hate losing.