giornalediregina

Darn it. After reading Tina’s Twilight, I lost it. I know exactly where, but I’m not sure.

            So, okay, Christmas is done. After a two-week long preparation for that day, it’s all over, just like that.

            The last time I wrote, I was missing him so much. He wasn’t talking that much, and now I know why. He has pneumonia. When he told me, he said he decided to tell me because he knows that I’ll be worried. Well, at least we’re getting somewhere. But what’s funny is that he doesn’t know the correct spelling of pneumonia.

            “You’re thoughts are with me,” he said. I don’t really know what he meant, to tell you the truth. Well, actually, I think of him, but he doesn’t know, because I don’t tell him that. He doesn’t wanna know that, trust me.

            I could say that I’m starting to love my job. During the second week of ABAY, I started to feeling more relaxed than ever. It wasn’t that hard, and I guess that’s because I’m starting to understand so many things I didn’t know when I was in training period.

            I arrived early Monday night, and there were people in our stations. I heard that they’re the wave 27 people. I waited for them to get out because practically, we’re the first ones to be in that area. So I just sat in front of work force, beside Butch, who was looking really confused. It’s her first day, you know. I was also like that during the first day of ABAY. I voluntarily helped her, and some people had mistaken me of as an FS. Somebody called me, asking for help, but I was kinda hesitant to help him because I’m not sure if I’d get that right. You know, it’s just my second week of ABAY.

            We transferred stations, and I stayed behind the Prior Authorization Department people. I could say that it was a good day for me, because I didn’t have any sup calls. It’s not that it was perfect or something, because I had so many coupon inquiry calls. That’s the most difficult calls I ever had in my entire ABAY. Some people hang up on me, because I can’t really help them. Haha. That’s just what I needed.

            Next day was better, and that because it’s pay day. Aunt Noemi and her two kids arrived, with my cousin from dad’s side, Kaye. Actually, she has four, but she left the other two at Daet, where they are living. My family used to live there also, but I guess it didn’t suit us.

            I took my brothers to Festi and we did a little shopping. Then, I went to work. It was a busy night, because most people in the US will go on vacation, so more work for the pharmacists, more work for us. I brought the Twilight book with me, and I lost it somewhere. Well, I really hope that Tina won’t remember it. But if ever she remembers, I’ll just replace it with a new one.

            I requested for an early Christmas Eve dinner (we usually have it during Midnight), because I won’t be home at midnight; I gotta go to work.

            But my brothers and half-sister were super late. I’m really time-conscious now, so I threw a fit. Well, not actually a fit, because I cried, literally. Mom told them off, and they were arguing, while time was running, and I’ll be late for work. So I just walked off, and Auntie Ebec, who was always self-involved, tried to stop me. I guess this family just needs a little bit of drama from me. You know, they’re not used to that. I’ve been acting like everything is okay with me, even if it isn’t. I’ve been very patient and lenient for quite some time, and they already forgot how it’s like when I’m mad.

            So, there you go, I walked out and left. I was on my way to work when Mom called. She said they already apologized, and they want me to go back, so that we could have dinner, as a family. Just for her, I went back. To tell you the truth, when I get mad, I get really mad, but after that, it’s alright. It’s as if nothing happened.

            We had a dinner, and I gave my presents for my family. Everything was okay, except for Aunt Ebec. She was acting as if she’s the one in my place. I mean, you know, I was the one mad, and she’s the one who was crying. Whatever.

            While eating dinner, Aunt Baby came, with her children. We didn’t invite them, but they’re mostly welcome. It’s really happy. When it was time for me to go, Carl walked with me to Mini-Stop.

            There’s a catering at the ground floor, and that was for free, I guessed, because it’s Christmas.

            I set up my systems in my usual station, which is located at the far end of the cluster, excluded away from everyone else in my team. It’s not that I don’t like them or what, However, I don’t like their jokes. I’m careful not to be tactless with them because if I do that, well, it would be World War III. They wouldn’t like it when I give out comments, I swear. I’m also careful not be a weirdo, as well.

            I went down again to ask the guard if there’s someone who return the lost Twilight book. The guard said that there’s nothing found in the washroom. Too bad. I went back upstairs.

            On the elevator, I saw someone cute. Well, it’s not that I was really checking him out, but I noticed that there’s weird look on his face. I wasn’t sure what that was, but I was really uncomfortable with that. It was the longest elevator ride ever.

            It’s just the two of us, and he smiled at me and went, “Hello, merry Christmas.” Haha. That’s what he wanted to say. I replied, “Hi, merry Christmas too.” The elevator opened, and I that’s my floor. I gestured, as if to say, “I gotta go.” I really hope to run into him later.

            Well, it’s possible, because I ran into people I least expect to, like Edward Palma, a classmate of mine when I was in college.

            I was on a call, and something’s beeping somewhere near me, and I accusingly stared at the girl seated at my back, who was on a call too. I thought she’s using her cellphone, while it’s queuing. It was my alarm, and it was midnight. Everybody greeted everyone merry Christmas, and I felt a little sad. Usually, I’m home every Christmas Eve. Well, at least I wasn’t alone.

            And there went my Christmas Eve. I went home, hoping to talk to him, but he wasn’t unable to talk, and that’s probably because he’s suffering so much with pneumonia. Trust me, it’s really bad. I had it before, and it’s the worst feeling ever, aside from endometriosis. Haha.

            Charlie was on, and I greeted him a merry Christmas and also a happy birthday, because it’s also his birthday.

            I spent my Christmas sleeping. And when I woke up, I went to work.

            Last night, I was early at the office. I didn’t eat anything before I left home because I was on hurry. You know, my uncle drove me to the GT station. I was freakin’ hungry so I went to Jollibee to get something to eat. I bought fries and burger, and also Triple Choco Boom from Country Style. After eating I went back to the office.

            On my way to the office, I saw Miko. He sorta reminds me of Kerwyn Ramos, you know. I stopped by for a little chat. You know, he’s very nice. I could tell, even if we didn’t bond that much in the Verizon account. Then, we saw someone we know from Verizon DA, I just forgot his name. He sat and joined us. They were indeed nice, but they didn’t seem to notice that I was a bit quiet when they joke about the S thing, you know. I know those things, but as always, I was uncomfortable when it comes to that topic.

            After an hour, I decided to go back to the office because I need to set up my systems before my shift. I told them that I gotta go, and they were okay with that. I dropped by at 7-11 to get bottled water. I saw Micki and Nate. They were the same couple as before, only, their hair was longer and messier. Seriously. I told them that Norman is working in eTelecare. Nate asked, “Norman who? There’s a lot of Norman.”

            “Hello, Norman… uhm.” Well, I didn’t really know how to describe my ex-best bud. I wanted to say, “the gay one,” but I was kinda reluctant. Micki came to my rescue. “Si Ate,” she said.

            “Ah! Si bakla!” Nate exclaimed. “Right. I said. “I gotta go!” And bounced away.

            I went to my station, and prepared to log-in. This is my last day of ABAY. There were no floor supports around, except for Goks, Stephanie and JM. As if we still need them at this time. Kidding. Well, I still need them, but not as frequent as my first day of ABAY.

            By the way, it’s ABAY graduation today. We’re done with it, yay! On Monday, my shift will be different. I chose the 9:15-6:15 shift schedule, to maximize the night differential.

            We were asked to log out an hour before our shift ends, to give way to our ABAY graduation. Well, it’s not the graduation that you think of. It’s just like a final huddle before we hit the floor. Not dance floor, haha, but ops floor. There were words of encouragement from TL Archie and A, and heads up.

            Everything was going alright, but then Sally and Arcel had an argument. It’s so stupid, if you ask me. They’re the same; tactless and “super” hyper-sensitive. For me, Sally tries to be funny by overly commenting on, well, practically, everything. Arcel is exactly like her. They like to pick on other people, but they don’t want to be picked on. I remember Arcel telling us that she hates arrogant and conceited people, during our first day in APAC. I wanted to tell her, “Hello, look at you, girl. You’re the exact person you hate.”

            I don’t have anything against the two of them or whatever, because I don’t really care what they do, as long as it’s not affecting my job and my career. I’ve been through a lot, and as much as possible, I wanted to stay focused on my job and not at anything else. Before, I let other people affect me and meddle with my business, but now, it’s all over. I’m not gonna let anything happen that can screw this one that I worked hard for.

            So, for now, I’ll just take it easy. It’s my day off. I need a break.

Well, I was moved to midshift, and that’s just for today. I don’t know what’s with them. You know, they like moving people ‘round the shift.

            Anyways, I had a nice week. It’s payday last Tuesday, and since I was on day shift, I went shopping for Christmas presents after work. It was also Carlo’s (my new seatmate) birthday. He turned 21.

            My friends ditched me; they thought that I ditched them first. I told Rance that I’ll be back, and when I get back, they already left. I didn’t mind that much, because I want to be alone when I’m shopping for gifts.

            I went to Festi, and bought Polo shirts for my brothers. Lem saw me, and she introduced me to her friends and siblings. I also bought presents for my half-sister and aunties. I didn’t buy anything for my mom yet, ‘cause I want it to be special, and that’s not the perfect time to buy her a gift ‘cause I was in a hurry.

            I fell in love with the gift wrappers. Aside from flowers, they’re my favorite things on earth.

            I bought pizza for the whole family before I left the mall. I got stuck in traffic, and it was so cold in the van. To keep the pizza warm, I put it on my lap.

            When I got home, my mom asked why I was late. I told her that I did some shopping. We ate the pizza, and when I told my mom that bought Christmas presents, she was excited.

            I and Mom locked us in my room and I showed her what I bought. She said I had a great choice. Well, kinda. I don’t like giving cheap presents. She helped me wrapped the presents while we chatted.

            The next day, Joy didn’t go to work. I heard that she’s confined in a hospital. Poor girl. I also heard that Oliver resigned. What the heck. Well, that could be a blessing in disguise, since his position as a lead trainer for Wellpoint will be vacant. Means they have to promote someone. I just wish that the position would be vacant until I get regularized.

            I’ll miss Oli. He’s the coolest trainer I ever had.

            We spent the week with Leo, another TL, for quality. At first, I thought he was “suplado”, because of the shape of his eyebrows. But he was really, really nice and very helpful. He’s also supportive, and he doesn’t go around criticizing people and putting them down.

            It was confirmed that Arnold would be our TL. Whoohoo!!!! I like him, because he’s so nice and funny. I won’t have a problem working with him.

            I don’t know what happened to Mommy Beth, my boob-grabbing, ex-seatmate. She was sent home because of hypertension. Angie went with her. Angie was hanging with her lately, because nobody likes her, except Mommy Beth and Cecile. I heard that she’s arrogant. Well, I experienced it before, but that was okay. I don’t really mind, since almost everyone around me had been telling me that I’m fat, since birth. And that thing really crushed my confidence, but thank goodness, I’m recovering a bit. Haha. Just now.

            And then, there’s girl stuff. You know, the thing that comes every month. I stopped going to the gym (just for this week), and I gave up my diet, ‘cause I was really craving for sweets. All of a sudden, I got so moody. And Ira was always in wrong timing. Last month, I was on PMS-mode, and he grabbed my ankle, as a joke, and I turned around, and just looked annoyingly at him. And this time, I was sitting with myself, all quiet, when he grabbed a chair and sat with me. He tried to crack a joke, but I was on the PMS-mode again, that’s why I wasn’t in the mood.

            For this week, I’m reading Twilight. I borrowed it from Tina. I wanna know why people are crazy over this book. I’m no planning to buy Twilight, because I’m afraid that when I get sick, Mom and aunts will burn it, like what they did to my Harry Potter books.

            I’m switching to DSL, from Broadband, so I gotta go now and work on it. More later.

           Uhm, well, I’ve been awake for twenty-four hours now. I feel that I’d collapse any time now.

           So, okay, the week was bad. It’s not one of the best, to tell you the truth, though I get to talk to the person I like, for a headstart. See? Even him, cannot save me from having a bad week.

            My wave mates’ true colors started to show. I like people who are intelligent and funny, so I went with this group, because I thought that they’d satisfy my hunger for knowledge, and at the same time, they’re funny to be with. 

            But it turned out not. Yes, it’s true that they’re intelligent, but the thing is, all they do for fun is to pick on other people. And I don’t like that. It’s also true that I’m picky when it comes to people, but it doesn’t mean that I bad-mouth them when they’re not around, which is what they always do.

            So, okay, one of them was a total backstabber. She talks nasty things about someone who’s not around. I wonder what she says about me when I’m not with them.

But I already drew the line before anything could happen. I told them, while they were talking about someone, that if they have problems with me, they could tell me directly, so that I’ll know my mistake. Simple as it is, no need for the nasty rumors and gossips. I’m tired of that.

           Then, suddenly, two of them picked on each other, and one ended up crying. It’s just a simple of misunderstanding, but it was so dramatic. You know, like Callista Flockhart in Brothers and Sisters. It was so stupid that I couldn’t stand it, and I went out of the TR.

           Why am I stuck with weird seatmates? If not a boob-grabbing seatmate, I’ll have someone who doesn’t practically shut up, for a seatmate. I’m so lucky.

            Friday morning: I wasn’t really paying attention that much to anything, because I was so tired. It was raining hard, and I saw Ate Jeanette. I ditched Xyza, my wave mate, for the comfort of my cousin’s brand new Nissan Sentra. And Xyza didn’t make it the shift last night, and I felt so guilty. Well, she’ll get wet, anyway, with or without me. But still.

         And today, I went home with Ate Jeanette. I arrived home, and Auntie Ebec was here. It’s kinda unusual, because she doesn’t really want to be here, since she thought that three of us seemed mock her all the time, by imitating her and laughing at everything she says. Well, who would take an exaggerated person seriously?

           It turned out that we had a catering gig today. Wow. So, I just had breakfast and off we go to Magdalo Court. We’ll be catering 350 people, and it’s just the five of us. My brother was testing my patient. We’re on a hurry, and he was just texting all the time. Gawd.

          We finished around one o’clock in the afternoon. I went home to change and rest because I need to go back tonight. I watched the v-ball game and went online. I downloaded Boyce Avenue songs. Charlie was on. I tried my best to squeeze more information about him, since I’ll base my new novel in his life. I’m not gonna tell him because he wouldn’t like it. He’ll know that it’s all about him when it’s a best-seller already. Haha.

           Well, I’m sort of sleepy now. I think I’ll have to go to sleep, though I’m not yet done scanning the ghost story book for Mr. Boob Guy.

Whoa, it’s been a week and a half since I last wrote here.

            Anyways, a lot of things happened, and I was so busy to keep record of the things happened.

            The last time I wrote here was when we had an off, because we’re moved back to day shift by that William dude, whom I heard a lead trainer for something. So, there you go, we moved back to day shift, and we had to go to work on a bright Saturday morning. I wasn’t worried that I’d missed him, because he won’t be online, ‘cause it’s Friday night in Florida that time.

            Carlo, one of my close friends in at the office told me something interesting. We’re in the operations floor, and I was sitting between him and Jay when he said, “Regine, I have something to tell you at lunch.” I knew that it was something to do with his lovelife, and I was so curious that I tried to talk it out of him that time. Honestly, I think I knew. He sort of noticed that I was happy that day, but you know what, nothing really good happened, I was just feeling positive that time.

            Lunch came. I and Carlo moved somewhere in the operations floor, far from them, and he took out his wallet, and said, “Don’t be surprised.” I promised that I won’t since I kinda knew what was it he needed to tell me.

            He took out a picture, and said, “I’m a bisexual,” as he flipped the picture to show me his boyfriend.

            Well, I wasn’t really surprised, because I was really expecting it. Carlo is kinda cute, but there’s something in his aura that tells me that he’s not a man, but a gay or something like that. I was like, “Okay, I knew it.” Really, I knew it. I just didn’t ask him because I was shy. You know, what if I asked him, “Are you gay?” and he’s not? I’ll surely offend him. But the good thing is, I was the first one whom he has told, meaning that he trusts me enough. Jay was the only person, besides me, who knows, and he’s gonna resign the next week.

            I went online Sunday morning here, and guess what, Charlie was on also. He had my number, so he started sending text messages to me. Well, I don’t mind, since the guy was so depressed, and according to him, he doesn’t have that much friends. So, okay, we had another dramatic conversation. I swear, he’s just like Amil, complaining about everything. Could he be more positive, for goodness’ sake? I don’t wanna add up to his stress (or depression) so I just shut up and listened to him.

            I didn’t go to church, so my Aunt Ebec showed up and gave me a sermon, right there at home. Haha.

            Mark came over at night to taste the brownies which Krissie made for sample. It needs improvement, honestly. Someone delivered the cassava cake, so we tasted it also.

            The next day, he was online. We just talked, like what we always do.

            He asked me something about what I did on Sunday, and I mentioned something about Mark. And he was like, “Who’s Mark?” Oh no, wrong answer. I told him that Mark is just a friend. Well, I know the feeling, so as much as possible I don’t want him to feel that way. You know, the jelly feeling when I think of the girls in UCF. Girls there come really come around, and sleeping with boys is no big deal for them. I wonder if there’s something out there that he’s not telling me. You know, there are also some things here that I don’t tell him. But of course, those things were not important for us.

            Anyways, I had a great time, as usual. We talked about a lot of things, and I’m surprised how I’d grown comfortable talking to him.

Monday shift started, and we’re just studying reject codes. It’s a bit easier now that I good a good grasp of the head-splitting DOS system. We’re all happy because we received our ATM and health cards. Now, I feel like a real employee. Except that they haven’t released out employee IDs yet. Fine, screw the employee IDs, the pay is more important. Haha.

I went home, and I slept. I think Mom didn’t go to work. I bet it’s because she knew that it was my pay day, and she wanted to be there when I spend it. Moms are like that, you know.

So I was right. It’s around four o’clock in the afternoon when she woke me up. If she’s not my mother, I’d throw a fit. You know, I don’t like to be disturbed when sleeping. I tried to be a good daughter, so I dressed up and we went to the mall.

Crap, the machines in that mall didn’t dispensed cash for us, so I thought that there’s something wrong with my pin. We went outside the mall and found another ATM. There you go.

I felt like eating pizza and garlic bread so we went to Greenwich for dinner. We ordered pizza and garlic. We didn’t have anything for desert so I went to Goldilocks to get chocolate cherry torte while we’re waiting for our order.

It’s really nice to eat something you worked hard for, haha. We went home and I prepared to go to work.

It was Jay’s last day, so we had a farewell party. He bought us a cake, and we bought boxes of pizzas. Cool, it’s my second time to eat pizza and cake for that day. I felt my jeans getting smaller and smaller for each successive mouthful.

            So far, the week had been great, and I was looking forward to the weekend. You know, Saturday, we catered for a wedding, which is so boring, if you ask me. When I get married, I won’t hire our own catering services. Haha. I’d hire others, because there’s always something wrong with our catering.

            I was accused of snoozing, by Joy. She was saying something, ad I had my back turned away from her, and I wasn’t moving, that’s why she thought I was sleeping. Actually, I wasn’t moving that time because I was concentrating on drawing something on Ira’s forehand, which was Nazi’s swastika. Yes, I was tattooing him, and I was listening at the same time. But when Joy said, “Regine, what are you doing?” I got nervous, and forget whatever I had in mind, and I was like, “Uhm. Uhm, uhm- I’m writing something in Ira’s hand.”

            “Liar!” She spat. Geez. I swear, I was telling the truth. Everyone laughed, and they thought I was sleeping. Well, I don’t know which was more embarrassing; I was caught tattooing someone’s hand or being caught sleeping. You decide. I said I was writing something, but nobody believed me, and Ira had no reaction. He’s always like that. He could’ve told everyone. Hmp.

            Then, I started to hit the gym again, because I could pinch a thick flan on my lower back. Means that my waist is expanding. Thank God, that grotesque dude who was following me around before wasn’t there anymore. Also, I cut my hair. Technically, the stylist did. I’m afraid that I might ruin it again, like what I did before. The stylist was new in that salon, and that’s the first I saw “shim” there.

            The outcome: I wasn’t so happy about it. I said it needed a little trim, and what “she/he” (I’m confused) did was to cut if short. Crap.

            For the weekend, I had catering, Milo marathon, and Divisoria escapade. The weekend was so full that I didn’t have the chance to go to Uncle Roger’s wake. Anyways, he died of aneurism. He had his first attack when I was in my sophomore year (high school), but he survived. This time, he didn’t. This reminded me of how my father died. He also died of aneurism, but his was quick and not that painful, because he was sleeping. And nobody suspected it.

            I was alone in the house during Saturday evening, and memories from reading Philippine Ghost Stories flashed back. Crap. But nevertheless, I fell asleep. The next day, Mark and I went to the Milo Marathon.

            The original plan was that Krissie would come with us. I don’t know what went wrong, and she chose to be with the old people. In the bus, we watched a horror movie. I wasn’t scared but disgusted, to tell you the truth. Mark and I were laughing at the scenes wherein the helpless victims were slaughtered. Ew. We bet that the film makers of such movies are weirdos and hate the world.

            We arrived at the Roxas Boulevard, and we enjoyed the view of the sunrise, while looking out for Krissie in the crowd. Too bad we didn’t spot her. The weather was okay, not too hot, if you ask me.

            We took pictures in the finish line, in the grandstand and in the Rizal Park. After that, we had breakfast in Jollibee and went to Divisoria. 168 Mall was full of people, and it’s like we’re on a prayer rally. We shopped till we dropped. It’s quite an adventure because we didn’t have the slightest idea of our route.

            I bought two Nike shirts, one black, and the other was pink. Mark bought a lot of stuff like kamote, doormat, Nike shirts, alarm clock, et cetera. We searched something for his girlfriend, but we didn’t find any. I wanted to tell Mark that Divisoria is not the perfect place to buy a gift for his girlfriend, but to see him so happy like that because of the bargains finds, it shut the hell out of me.

            We dropped by at SM Bacoor to buy ribbons for his gifts before we went home. I was so tired that I just went to bed when I got home.

            I watched Pussycat Dolls Presents: Girlicious and Keeping up with the Kardashians. I was satisfied with the winners in PCD Presents, because all of them were gorgeous and very nice.

            The episode in KK was kinda crazy, if you ask me. I didn’t know that those girls also have major fights, like any other siblings. And theirs were just like ours. Haha. Khloe slammed the door at Kim’s face, and Kim hit her with her signature bag, and that’s all because of the Bentley car or something like that.

            Rob tried to come between his sisters, but the fight was so big that the couldn’t do anything about it. That’s the first time I saw Kim cried like that.

            Aunt Grace, my mom’s cousin, and her husband dropped by here. She saw me and she was like, “Wow, sexy ka na!” It’s like music to my ears, because she’s my number one critique. She always tells me that I’m fat whenever I see her.

            And because of that, I went jogging the next day to lose pounds again. I didn’t go with Krissie or Mark, because I had to do that alone, I think. Besides, Mark was also tired because the non-stop shopping we did.

            Everybody in La Joya said that I lost weight. Probably, it’s because of the black Nike I was wearing that time. Haha. I saw Tita Estre, and she also thinks that I lost weight. Maybe. Well, I should be, because I’ve been in a diet for like, forever.

            I went home, had breakfast while I had a chat with Mom. She gave me some scoops about what’s the latest in the clan. And I was sad for my cousin Jenny, because according to Mom, she had gone cuckoo, living with somebody rich. Well, there’s nothing wrong with that, except that she’s a mistress, I heard. Plus, she didn’t work hard for all of that. Maybe she did, because being beautiful is hard, if you ask me. Gold digger? I don’t wanna say that, but it’s the right word for that. We’re kinda close, that’s why I felt bad for her.

            I went online. He and Charlie were on. I did my spiels while talking to him.

            He just arrived in his dorm from their house. You know, it’s Thanksgiving. We just talked, and this time, I was careful not to mention anything that has to do with boys. When he asked, I told him about the Milo marathon that I attended with a “friend”. I was also careful not to use “he”, “him” or “his”, because, like what I’ve said earlier, I know the feeling. That stupid jelly feeling.

            I told him about the wake, and I was scared because I was alone. He wanted to know why I was scared, and I told him that it’s because I remember the Philippine Ghost Stories that I read. Now, he wanted to read it also, so I promised to scan and send it to him. We talked about “our” Christmas presents for each other. Just the idea makes me nervous.

            I also told him that I had another hair cut again. He said he liked long hair. Uhm, well, I like long hair too, but I’ve been “long-haired” since like, forever, and I sported it this short just for a change. Right, I kind of miss my long hair, too, but it’ll grow back.

            He asked why I cut it, and I know I was gonna miss it. Let’s just say that I’m only human, and also capable of making decisions in my life.

            After four hours, he has to go, because he has a class next day, so I let him go. I got back to Mr. Melodrama.

            Now I know why he’s “Mr. Melodrama”. I wanted to cry because I was so sad for him. His story is interesting, if you ask me. I think I’ll write a novel about him. Well, I haven’t seen something inspiring about him yet, but it would come.

            So okay, from what I understood, Charlie is melodramatic because:

1.)    That Courtney girl who was so in love with and broke up with him was never his girlfriend. He just wishes. And her name is not Courtney, by the way. It’s Britney, who reminds me of someone bitchy that the whole world knows. Tip: Don’t name your kid Britney.

2.)    He thinks that he’s fat. For me, he’s not fat. He’s okay.

3.)    He thinks that he’s weird. Well, kinda, but so what?

4.)    He doesn’t have that much friend because of #2 and 3. Again, so what?

5.)    He’s adopted. That’s why he was deprived of cuddling or something like that.

6.)    His adoptive mom died, and he’s not in speaking terms with his adoptive dad.

7.)    His real mom was raped by a friend, and he’s the fruit of that sin. That’s why his real mom gave him away.

If I were him, I’d feel sorry for myself too, but not too much. There are a lot of

things in life that I could be grateful for. Like his real mom found him and was sorry for what she did, and she loves him very much. At least, when his other mom died, he still has another. All he had to do is to take a closer look to see the good things in his life.

            To tell you the truth, I’m interested with him because he lives a full-of-challenge life. He’ll be a good subject for my novel, which I’m still conceptualizing at the moment. Just like The Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in Chili in The Princess Diaries, who Mia wrote about. It just turned out that it was JP, who was a sub for Michael. Haha.

            After talking to Charlie, I went to sleep. Another uncle came over, same time when HSBC called. Ed answered the call, and he woke me up. It was Meredith again. I told her that I won’t resign in HSBC. I was so pissed off at my brother because I’ve told him a hundred times not to wake me up when I’m sleeping, because I have problems with sleeping. The damage had been done, so I answered it. But all calls from HSBC were banned, from then on, I told my brothers.

            I checked my phone. There were messages from Mark, Jeni and Uncle. I called Mark and told him what he wanted to know. I tried going back to sleep, but I just couldn’t so I just went to the gym.

            Everybody I saw told me that I lost weight. Yay!!!! Well, I wish that it’s not because of the black Nike shirt I wore.

            I went to work early, in a good mood, because I had a good start of the week (I talked to Mr. Boob Guy). Carlo was depressed, because he and his boyfriend have a major fight. I was his only friend whom he can tell everything, so I was stuck with him, comforting him. And on my left side was Arcel, who was asking non-stop question about everything. I was like, “Should you just listen, girl?” God.

            And after two hours, Mommy Cecile started telling us about her problems with her husband. Jeez. I’m in the middle of emotional chaos. On my left side, Arcel was complaining of how difficult her boyfriend is, and he occasionally hits her. On my right side, there’s Carlo who’s so depressed because his boyfriend won’t talk to him. Next to Carlo, sits Mommy Cecile, who’s complaining about a know-it-all husband. Besides Arcel sits Rance, who’s having financial problems. Whew.

            But at least, we still had fun, though the night was long and tiring.

Well, I had an expected day-off today. I’m supposed to be sleeping at this time. I’ll write about that later.

            So, okay, it was Mark’s birthday last Sunday. Technically, no, however, I was really ashamed to ask because I’m afraid that he’d think that I forgot that it’s his birthday.

            I texted Mark if I could come with him to work, but it was nil, so I went alone to work, Monday night.

            It’s my first time for a long time to be on the night shift, that’s why it’s huge adjustment for me. As usual, the gang was there. I think I had fun, because this time, I didn’t feel intimidated with my co-trainees. I learned not to take their jokes seriously, because they don’t have anything against me, they’re just trying funny.

            Anyways, I feel comfortable with my new friends and wave mates, and I don’t know if I still want to transfer in HSBC. We’ll get to that.

            So, it was typical Monday, basically, it’s dress-up day for us. I wore my olive green blouse. And my boobs had been the issue for the whole week. I arrived just in time for a little chit-chat before our shift, so I approached my friends. Rance started commenting on my boobs. At first, it was okay since we’re all girls, and he’s gay. He was like, “Wow, nice big boobs!” It’s super embarrassing. Did I mention that we’re in front of many people, who were smoking outside the building? Yikes.

            Then, Angela sensed that I was feeling uncomfortable because they’re all looking at it, and it’s as if I wanted to cover them so she said, “Ano ka ba? It’s okay! Cute nga eh!” I had a good laugh at that. Since when did big boobs become cute?

            “Be proud,” Rance added. “kung sakin yan, ang neckline, hanggang puson.” Ew.

            Our shift started. I couldn’t take it anymore so I wore my jacket. My seatmate, Mommy Beth, who always tells me that I remind her of her daughter, touched my boobs. I wasn’t able to react because of shock, so I just stared at her. “You really remind me of my daughter. She has big boobs like yours,” She said. Okay.

            Poor Angie. It turned out that everyone hates her. Well, not me, because she didn’t do anything bad to me. That’s my principle, you know. As long as you don’t meant to harm me, we’re okay.

            According to stories I heard, Angie is cocky, arrogant and competitive. Her seatmates and former friends say so. Well, for me, that’s okay, as long as she doesn’t meant harm. But her seatmates were irritated to her, and I think I don’t feel the same way because I don’t really know her personally. Hello, I sit ten stations away from her, so how the heck I would know?

            The shift ended, and Xyza went home with me. Her husband didn’t pick her up because of something, which I wasn’t really interested finding out what. Xyza was a very pretty girl, and she’s pregnant. When you look at her, you won’t really think that she’s pregnant, because she wears skinny jeans and tight shirts and blouses. All eyes are always on her. Well, if she’s not pregnant, probably, all boys in our room would be wooing her.

            We reached Camella, and Xyza started to vomit. There’s nothing came out from her mouth, but I was afraid that there would be. I was so worried that I ask her if she’s okay for like, every 10 minutes. She said, “I’m gonna be fine, plus you’re here naman eh.” Haha. I don’t know, you know, because I haven’t been with friends who experiencing morning sickness. I won’t know what to do when they throw up.

            When I got home, Auntie Ebec was there, waiting for Ed. She said, “Ang ganda ng katawan mo ngayon ah. Keep it up.” Wow. Haha. This is the first time I heard something nice from her. You know, she’d been criticizing me for the rest of my life. They’re going to Nova. Yeah, right Edward will skip classes just to go with her. Tsk tsk.

            Tuesday evening: Jane was absent. I heard that she found the process difficult. Well, I couldn’t blame her, because it’s really difficult. I, myself had been experiencing information overload, but that’s the way it is, if you want something, you gotta work hard. This is her first time, I think, because there is more difficult process than we have, and yet she starting to show that she’s weak. Well, probably, she doesn’t need the money. She’s even thinking of resigning.

            Speaking of resigning, I’m thinking about resigning also. You know, HSBC is now ready to take me under its wing. But I guess I waited for them so long, and I already lost my interest. Not actually lost my interest, but I’m occupied right now, you know. And I’ve been waiting for their call for like, forever. And when I finally had another job, they’ll tell me that I now start with them. What the heck.

            Ira passed and he turned of the fan. He’s just teasing me, I know. He’d been like that to me ever since we knew each other. I just laughed at him, and Mommy Beth told me that Ira might be crushing on me. Well, that’s possible, but I don’t wanna assume, plus I’m not interested. Ira is very nice and all, but he just belong in number 2 bracket. I haven’t actually finalized my bracket, so maybe now is the perfect time to write about that.

            For me, there are three types of boys in my life:

1.) The ones who call/text/email and give me special attention, and I feel annoyed and irritated.

2.) The ones who call/text/email and give me special attention, and I feel okay about it.

3.) The ones who call/text/email and give me special attention, and I feel happy about it.

         Ira went up to me again, and asked me if I still have copies of Philippines Ghost Stories that he hadn’t read yet, which haunted me in my dreams, by the way. I said none, and Mommy Beth was like, “Magnet ka ata kay Ira.” I just laughed at it because I don’t have anything to say. Well, it’s a better reaction than not having at all, right?

            Speaking of reactions, here are my reactions when the people in that list talk to me.

Situation 1: He says hi.

#1: I say hi back, or nod.

#2: I say hi back, or nod, then ask how he was.

#3: I say hi back, then ask how he was, try to crack a joke or tell some story.

Situation 2: He offers me something to eat.

#1: I decline, even if I like the food.

#2: I accept, even if I don’t like the food.

#3: I always taste.

Situation 3: He texts me.

#1: I don’t reply, unless it’s needed, or if  it’s his tenth text, I’ll reply, just to tell him, leave me alone.

#2: I don’t reply right away, but if needed, it’s okay.

#3: I reply right away, inserts a lot of smileys and all.

Situation 4: He calls me:

#1: I don’t answer, or if somebody answers it for me, I tell them, I’m not here.

#2: I answer, but talk to him in rush.

#3: I answer, and talk to him like, four hours straight.

Situation 5: He emails me:

#1: I don’t care.

#2: I’ll think about it first if I’m gonna reply or not. But most probably, I do reply.

#3: I reply right away, then, wait for him to be online.

Situation  : They tell me they like me:

#1: I’ll say, “Ew!” or “YUCK!” then roll my eyes and ignore them, for a very long time.

#2: I’ll laugh or sniff, because I don’t know what to say.

#3: I’ll laugh or sniff, say “thanks, I like you too,” casually, but I’ll blush to the highest level.

            Well, they were super pissed at Angie, I could really tell, but I try not to say anything about that, because she hasn’t done anything harmful to me, yet. And as if I’m going to a war freak, now that I established my new charming personality. I remember that Angie told me that I look like an HR because my legs are big. I was kind of humiliated, but that was okay for me, really. You know, they’re really big, to tell you the truth.

            But for my new friends, it’s not okay. They assured me over and over that I’m beautiful (compared to Angie, haha) and sexy. I’d like to believe that, but if the basis is just the boobs, I’m not sure. I told them that I don’t have a problem with her, and I couldn’t make comments, since I don’t know her personally. Rance said, “Malaki lang ang boobs mo, pero mahina ang radar mo.” I was like, “The what?” But they all found it funny, especially Jay, who was sitting with us.

            There’s nothing to do when it’s near the end of the shift, so we huddled and talked. Yikes, they talked about sex. I couldn’t relate, to tell you the truth. But I don’t get it why do they have to talk about it in public. For me, it’s a private thing. When the time comes that I finally Did It, I won’t tell anyone, even my mom. It’s funny that they have the guts to talk about it. It’s grotesque.

            So, I was there, listening to them, but I wasn’t talking at all, because I didn’t have anything to say. Rance’s experience was funny, considering the fact that he was gay.

            Last night: Cel was still absent due to dengue. I heard that Jane’s palpitating. I don’t know, but last night’s shift drained all of my energy. I was looking forward for breaks, and lunch time. During breaks, I took short naps. I guess I wasn’t the only person who does that because all of them were snoozing every time we go on break. Nobody goes out for a smoke anymore. Haha.

            After lunch, William, one of the lead trainers showed up, and announced that our shift would be moved back to morning, and that’s because the clients will use our training room. As if we have a choice. But he promised to buy us pizza, for consolation.

            When he was finished talking, he asked all of us if we understood, one by one. Then he suddenly went, “Can I touch?” I panicked, because I thought he’s asking for my permission to touch my boobs, you know, I’m kind of paranoid, but it turned out that he was curious what my long-sleeved shirt felt like. I said okay, and he touched my sleeves and said, “It looks like velvety, you know.” Whew.

            I saw my cousin Paul on my way home, and he asked me to burn a CD for him. I took the list and went home. I felt like checking my mail, so I did, after eating breakfast.

            Gareth has an offline for me, asking if I was just invisible. You know, these days, I’m hiding from a lot of people, so I stay invisible. Too bad I missed him. I replied to his message, assuming that he’s also invisible. Unfortunately for me, he’s really offline.

            Anyways, Charlie was online. Okay fine, I gave him the chance. You wanna know what I think of him? Well, he’s the male version of me. He’s very melodramatic, and took ages for me to convince him that he’s not fat and ugly. He has a lot of issues in his life, and like what I said, he’s melodramatic, meaning that he experienced a lot of dramas in his life.

            I guess he changed a lot since the first time we talked. Before, I’m guessing what he was thinking, but now, he’s pretty vocal about everything. I once read from a magazine that boys don’t usually talk about dramas they’re experiencing in their lives. So when a boy started sharing his woes and love life travails with you, it means that he trusts you enough, and you don’t have to give an advice. Actually, you don’t have to say or do anything at all but to listen and let him feel that he’s important to you and you’ll be there to listen always. Aha! Nice one. I forgot who wrote that article.

            So, okay, I’m not gonna write here whatever he told me, because like HSBC, we sort of had some mutual secrecy agreement policy, at least on my part. Haha. Anyways, I was tired so I told him that I need to go and have some sleep.

            I went to sleep, and it’s almost perfect, but people from HSBC kept on calling me. Crap. I was peacefully sleeping when Chris Daughtry’s “What About Now” played. I reached for my phone, but I was quite uncertain what to do with it (I was half-awake) so I missed the call.

            I went back to bed and when I was about to sleep, our landline rang. Crap. I told Mom not to call because I’ll sleep. It’s someone from HSBC. I didn’t even hear the name of the person I was talking to because I was so sleepy. What I understood is that they need my certificate of employment and SSS proof. Whatever. Now that I don’t need them, they started to call me, at least four times a day.

            I went back to sleep. The landline rang again. I bet it’s someone from HSBC again. I ignored it and tried going back to sleep. Then, my cellphone vibrated. It’s the same girl who called me, and now, she’s talking in the vernacular already. What the heck. I kept talking to her in English, ad it’s really funny when you heard our conversation.

            What she wanted me to do is to resign in APAC. WHAT?!!! You gotta be kidding me. But I haven’t decided yet, so I’ll think about it. Okay, I’m already in my comfort zone, and she’s asking me to get out of it. Geez. Well, I really don’t know. We’ll see.

I think I’m not pooping properly. There’s something in my tummy that needs to get out, and whatever it is, just get out, okay? I told Mom about the poop thingie, and she recommended papaya. So just now, I ate the fruit, and it’s still not working.

            So, okay, the last time I’ve been here, writing, was last Sunday. Many things happened this previous week, but nothing exciting, if you ask me.

            As usual, I went to work the next morning. I didn’t get to see Miss Earth, because I need to sleep early.

            When I woke up, Monday morning, Mom was pulling something out from my closet. She asked me, “Are you going to work?” And I was like, “Of course!”

            “Well, you know me, I’m being a ‘nerbyosa” these days.” Yeah, it shows. But still, I went to work. I saw Xyza on my way to APAC. She’s so pretty, even for a pregnant woman. We had a little chat.

            I went in the TR, and there’s a pretty girl in white blouse inside. She must be the new trainer. I smiled at her, greeted her a good morning, and she smiled back. She’s very nice.

            When all of us were inside, she introduced herself; she’s Joy Rocamorra, or something like that. We call her Joy. According to her, she’s been an agent for a year before she got promoted.

            Tina was late, and because of that, we’re gonna be dressed up for the next morning. Everybody was dissed. I’m okay with that, because I like dressing up. Haha.

            Joy was very nice, and I like her. But I wish she could be a bit livelier. I’m not comparing her to my previous trainers; however, she needs to have style. Anyways, she’s very nice, and she’d been very helpful and supportive to all of us.

            I don’t have baon  for Monday, so I had to go to Jollibee to order out. Xyza went with me. Man, all eyes were on her. After ordering out, we went back to APAC and ate in the pantry. Arcel made us order leche flans from her, and I listed one. My order would be delivered on giovedi.

            Jay was absent the next day, because he had to go to an orientation. Like me, he has a pending contract elsewhere, and I think it’s his priority. Meaning, he’d leave APAC for his new job. I heard that he’d be a TSR there.

            It’s not only Jay who’s absent that day, also Cel. To be honest, I don’t really feel at home with Cel. It’s not that I don’t like her, because she’s very nice. The thing is, I feel really intimidated when she’s around, because she’s a lawyer, and speaks like she knows it all. But all in all, she’s very nice. All I need is time to know her better.

            I tore my jeans; it was hooked in the table’s edges, at the pantry. I felt really bad, but Carlo assured me that it’s okay, because it’s not that obvious from afar.

            The two’s absence resulted to dress up the next day. I wore my red dress, and I think they don’t like it, because nobody complimented on it. But Rance said he liked my shoes.  Also, I almost ran late because its belt was missing, and it looks better with its belt on it. Mom helped, but it was no good. We couldn’t really find it. I was pissed off when I remember that someone told me, if you search hard for something, you won’t find it, and it will show up when you don’t need it, or when you least expect it.

            That is so true. Before, I was looking for my library card, and I couldn’t really find it. I needed that for an exit clearance, and I paid for its affidavit of loss. After several months, I found it. Shucks.

            So, I went to work, without the belt on my dress, and I think nobody knew the difference. Haha. I started to experience headache, due to information overload. Our system was DOS-based, that’s why it’s difficult for me. But I can get used to that.

            Being the tallest girl in my wave, I always see fruits at the top of the file cabinet with a note saying, “Please take, salamat po!” I took and a big banana, and ate it. Now I think I know why I couldn’t poop properly. Everyday, I find fruits there, which people shorter than me failed to see. Haha.

            We had an assessment, and I did just fine, unlike before, I could get it perfect. God help me.

            My day was really bad. I couldn’t tell why. Probably, it’s the PMS. On my way out from the TR, Ira grabbed my ankle with a hissing sound. Yeah, he’s joking, but I wasn’t really in the mood, so I just stared at him, and I heard someone said, “Ay, nagalit.”

            Downstairs, Carlo asked me if there’s something wrong, because it seems that I was really having a bad day. I told him that it’s a girl thing, and he understood right away (he’s a nurse).

GIOVEDI:

            When I went in the pantry, Rance was like, “Ui, nag-hubaysh!” Obviously, he was astounded to see me in a plunging-neckline shirt. If you ask me, I just followed that gay’s advice. You know, he told me to wear that kind of shirt because it’ll look good on me. I don’t know, but everybody seemed to be staring at the boobs.

It was a solemn afternoon. Joy was discussing something that I don’t understand. My pocket vibrated violently: it’s my phone. Someone’s calling me. I excused myself and told Joy that I’ll go to the restroom.

            I answered it as soon as I got out from the TR. It was Meredith, from HSBC. I was on my way to the washroom when I remembered that HR people were there, so I went to the pantry instead.

            Meredith just wanted to follow-up my application. She wanted my COE and SSS proof. I told her that I have my COE with me; however, I couldn’t provide my SSS proof, because I applied for a new E1 copy. You know, I left my original E1 in TeleTech. So stupid, if you ask me. Haha

            I told Meredith that I’ll go there after my shift to pass my COE.

            After our shift, I went upstairs with Ira to pass my remaining requirements. I only have one copy of my birth certificate, so Gian told me to photocopy it, and same thing happened with Ira.

            Ira found me in front of the photocopier, staring at it, clueless. Honestly, I don’t know how to use a photocopier. When I was in college, I was taught how to, but since I don’t really use that skill, it became a repressed memory. Haha. Ira was no help, so we decided to pass the requirements the next day. Gian won’t accept it, anyway.

            We went down, and the power in the elevator turned off. I caught Ira’s eyes. He’s calm, unlike me, who was in panic. The elevator started to wiggle. My panic rose. Then, the power turned on, and I hurriedly got out of the elevator. Ira laughed and told me, “Kamuntik na tayo malaglag.”

            I found my gang outside APAC, waiting for me. Carlo was holding my leche flan, delivered by Arcel. The syrup was dripping from the stryofoam. I took it and thanked Carlo, and told them to go ahead, because I was going to HSBC to pass my COE. Ira went with me.

            Ira held my leche flan for me, as I signed the visitor’s sheet. I caught him licking his fingers, because the syrup was dripping from it. He’s such a nice, quiet guy. I went with him to Meredith’s office and he did the same to me, when I went to the second floor. The girl from Letran was there, and she didn’t accept my COE, because she needs two copies. Screw HR people.

            I and Ira left the building. I asked him again to hold the leche flan for me because I had to check something in my bag, and he laughed and said, “Ui, strategy ah.” I laughed because I think he’s right. Earlier, I had him to hold the food, and since I was carrying a lot of things like my bag, a bottle of water and my jacket, I let him carry the dripping desert until we reach HSBC.

            I was slightly humiliated so I took it. Ira said goodbye when he found a jeep, and said, “Take care, wag ka mag-paparape!” Ew! It’s the shirt I was wearing, I think.

Venerdi:

            I’m such a bad person. How could I ever forget Mark’s birthday?

            To tell you the truth, I wasn’t really paying that much attention to Mark these days, and I totally forgot that it’s his birthday. I wouldn’t even know if I didn’t check my alternate e-mail.

            I was dissed because the proxy site wasn’t working for me, and I wasn’t able to check my friendster account, so I checked my email address that I use for my that. There’s a birthday reminder in my inbox. I opened it and it said, “November 12- It’s Mark’s birthday today!” I was like, “Shucks, I missed it!” So I texted Mark right away, and wished him a happy birthday. Gawrsh.

            Mark replied, and thanked me. I was ashamed to say that I don’t really know his birthday, I just guessed, because most probably, the mail was late. But he didn’t really mind, because he invited me in his birthday blow-out, but didn’t gave a date when. Haha. I think he wanted me to guess that also. We agreed to jog the next day.

            I didn’t read Philippine Ghost Stories because it’s night, and though I’m a brave person, I get scared also sometimes, so I just played piano before I went to bed. Yeah, I did the same old routine, and Canon was added.

            Today, I woke up with the alarm of my phone. Mark hadn’t texted yet, so I gave myself a couple of minutes to snooze. After several minutes, Mark texted, and he asked me to give him 30 minutes, he just woke up. I replied, but I was out of credit.

            I rose from my bed, and prepared. I wore my Del Pierro jersey with matching Adidas sweat pants. I stared into the thin air for a couple of minutes, which I always do after waking up. I put on my sneakers and went to Mark’s house.

            Mark was awake, and he was putting on his running shoes. He liked my Delp Pierro shirt. I wished him a happy birthday again. It’s just normal between us; we talked as we walk to La Joya.

            There were no dead airs, because he practically never shuts up. That’s what I like about him; he’s very informative and intelligent.

            When we entered La Joya, we started jogging, and to save my energy, I stayed quiet. We saw Krissie with the ex-marine and her dad. When we reached the end of La Joya, we started talking again. We couldn’t help it. We saw Krissie from afar, running very fast towards us. Man, she’s so fast.

            We talked about the Milo run, and I said something that made Krissie ask, “I though you’re not gonna run?” Yeah, right. She said it in front of Mark, who was clueless about my plan. Okay, here’s my plan: I’ll just go with them to take pictures, but I won’t run. But since Krissie told Mark that I wasn’t planning to run, I was obliged to say that I’ll run.

            We had another round, and when we got back, Krissie and her dad were on their way home. We finished running, and followed them right away. But we didn’t catch them.

            Mark bought us Gatorade, and we continue to walk up to the market. He’s losing weight now, due to strict dieting. And now, I’m heavier than him. I told him about the joke I heard from my brother, and he found if funny. Then, he suddenly told me that he had a boring week, and he doesn’t feel at home with his new team mates. I felt sorry for him, but he was a tough dude, and he’ll survive. We bought veggies for their viand in the market and walked home. He also asked me if I’m free tomorrow, because we’ll go out, on his treat, because it’s his birthday.

            I went home, and told Mom about it, and she’s a bit reluctant of that idea. Also, we had a fight because I bought rotten ampalaya leaves. It’s not that I’m stupid or what; I just forgot to check because I was on a hurry. You know, I was so hungry.

            I slept all day, and woke up around 4 in the afternoon. I ate papaya and bread with cheese. Until now, Mom isn’t speaking to me.